Listen to Your Heart
by Kat0507
Summary: AU:  Hurt, lonely, and confused, Haley finds herself on Nathan Scott's doorstep, only to find that Nathan is settled down and has a family.  Yet, Nathan reaches out to her and both battle with the feelings in their heart and realities of their lives.
1. Chapter 1

Listen to Your Heart

**Disclaimer**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

**Summary**: Hurt, lonely, and confused, Haley finds herself on Nathan Scott's doorstep, only to find that Nathan is settled down and has a family. Yet, Nathan reaches out to her and both battle with the feelings in their heart and realities of their lives.

AN: Short story inspired by the songs included, and various books and movies. I can't take credit for being original in the least bit, but I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: "Someone Like You" (Adele)

Haley looked out the window of the cab and was stunned when it came to a full stop. The massive house in front of her had a long driveway, a huge front yard with trees, a hammock, a bench and a flowerbed by the front walkway. She looked at the slip of paper in her hands and confirmed with cab driver it was the correct address. Once assured, she paid him and stepped out of the cab into the warm spring air. She took a moment to gathering in her surroundings before heading up the driveway.

As she neared the front doorway, she saw a pink tricycle in front of the garage. Her immediately heart dropped. She comforted herself as returned to the idea that maybe this was not, in fact, the right house. As she stepped up the front stairs, the pit in her stomach returned as she read the nameplate over the door, "The Scotts."

Haley had no idea what she was doing here. All she knew was that she needed to see Nathan. She rang the doorbell, having no clear expectations except seeing the man she loved. What happened after that would just have to be fate.

After ringing the bell, Haley heard a chorus of children's voices. A minute later, Nathan opened the door. His eyes grew wide as he saw Haley. He looked behind himself nervously and began to pull the door behind him.

Haley's heart began to flutter. She was obviously not welcome. It was clear he wasn't even going to let her inside. She regretted showing up uninvited like this. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come."

As Haley turned to leave, Nathan called out to her. "No, don't!"

Haley turned to face him and saw a look of sheer panic across his face as a little girl with long brown hair appeared at his legs. Nathan quickly pushed the girl out of Haley's view and left the doorway, but with the windows open, Haley could hear their conversation.

"Daddy, who's there?"

"No one, baby. Go back to playing."

A second later, Haley saw the top of the girl's head bobbing around the curtains of the window.

"Daddy, it is Mommy? Is Mommy home?"

Haley saw Nathan yank the girl away from the window.

"No, not yet. Look, Sawyer's looking for you. Go play. I'll be right back."

The little girl let out a loud whine and then her voice began to grow distant. "But I heard you say—"

Haley decided it was time to leave. With the cab gone, she had no idea where she would go, but she just needed to get away. This was just too hard to face.

As Haley began to head down the driveway, she wondered who Nathan had finally decided to settle down with. Haley always thought she would be the one to nab his heart, get him to give up his noncommittal tendencies and be faithful for once in his life. More than that, she thought what they had was so special, it was the once-in-a-life time kind of deal. She thought they were meant for each other. Clearly, she was wrong; at least one account. Although Nathan had been able to find someone new, she knew she would never be able to do the same. She couldn't just find someone like Nathan. As she reached the end of the driveway, she took one last look at the front door, which was now closed. Yes, in her heart, she still felt Nathan was the one for her, even if she wasn't the one for him.

Haley stepped onto the sidewalk as sporty car appeared around the corner and began to slow down as it neared the driveway. At once, she assumed it must be Nathan's wife and the little girl's mother. As the car began to pull in, Haley saw it was Brooke in the car. At first she felt relieved, quickly followed by confusion and then anger.

Brooke stopped the car and rolled down the window. "Haley! What are you doing here?"

Tears began to stream down Haley's face as she shook her head in disgust. That little girl was probably the spitting image of the two of them with her long, dark hair! Nathan had married Brooke, of all people? Brooke was supposed to be one of her best friends! When did that happen? Haley was left speechless as she glared at Brooke.

"Let me park the car," Brooke said with tears threatening her own eyes. "Just wait here!"

Brooke pulled her car fully into the driveway and scurried out of the car and headed towards Haley.

As Brooke got closer, Haley saw this was much worse than she thought. Brooke was clearly sporting a baby bump. More tears fell down her cheeks as she thought about the idea that Brooke was carrying Nathan's child. Nathan had always wanted children, and Haley knew things must have fallen apart for them because she couldn't give him that.

Haley wanted nothing more than to run away, but she couldn't. It was as if her feet with stuck in cement. She looked down at them and then up at Brooke helplessly.

Brooke put her arms on Haley's shoulders as if trying to snap her out of the daze she was in. "Haley! Haley! Are you okay?"

"Okay? How could I possibly be okay?" Haley asked pointing towards the house. "He's moved on! And with you! How could you, Brooke?"

"What? No, Haley! It's not what you think!"

Haley pointed towards Brooke's stomach. "Don't tell me you got fat, Brooke Davis! I know you're pregnant with his child!"

Brooke broke out into a fit of laughter, but then turned serious once she saw the expression on Haley's face. "Yes, I'm pregnant, but with my husband's child."

"Lucas?" Haley asked confused.

Brooke looked slightly offended. "Julian, Haley. I'm not Brooke Davis anymore. I'm Brooke Baker."

"Who the hell is Julian?"

Before Brooke could answer, another car appeared to be headed towards the driveway. This car didn't slow down, but instead pulled right into the driveway. The door burst open and Lucas quickly began sprinting towards them as if on a mission.

Lucas spoke frantically as he stepped in between the two girls. "Brooke, go inside and watch the kids for Nathan. I'll take care of Hales."

"I didn't know—" Brooke tried to explain.

"It's fine," Lucas assured her. "I was on my way over to get Sawyer when he called. Just go and give him a hand."

Brooke nodded, gave Haley a sad look and then headed down the driveway.

"Lucas, what's going on? Is everything okay?" Haley asked biting her lip.

Lucas grabbed in a tight hug. "Oh, Hales. I missed you. We all did."

"I missed you too," Haley responded emotionally. As they broke apart, Haley began to think about what Lucas said and the events that just transpired. She then thought about what she said. She just didn't get it. She knew what she said was true, that she missed Lucas, she felt that, she just didn't understand why.

Lucas examined her carefully causing Haley to grow even more self-conscious. He was looking at her like he hadn't seen her in years. Had it been that long? It must have been. Nathan's daughter looked about four years old. That must have meant she was gone from Tree Hill for at least five years,…unless Nathan cheated on her. Haley shuddered at the thought.

"Let's go sit down on the bench," Lucas said. He put his arm around her and slowly walked them over to the bench just under the trees in Nathan's front yard.

"Lucas, tell me what happened. I know Nathan has this perfect family now and he doesn't want me around, but the way you're looking at me is scaring me. Is everything okay? I feel like something is wrong."

Lucas sighed heavily, took her hand and looked at her directly in the eyes. Once again, it was if he was looking for her for the answers. "How did you get here?"

"I took a cab."

"How?"

Haley became perplexed. She thought about it but was having difficulty arriving at an answer. "What do you mean? I just took one."

"From where? Where were you?"

Once again, Haley searched her mind. It was blank. "I don't know."

Lucas closed his eyes and Haley sensed his disappointment.

She began to panic. She pulled her hand away from Lucas and put both her hands to her head. "Why can't I remember?" Haley looked desperately at Lucas as she took both of his hands in hers. "Luke, what's going on? Help me, will you? I'm so confused."

"Tell me the last thing you remember," Lucas gently prodded her.

Haley looked long and hard at Lucas. "I don't remember anything."

"You remember me, right? And Brooke?"

"Nathan," Haley said as she watched the front door open. It appeared as if Nathan was getting ready to come out. His back was at the door as if he was talking to someone in the house.

"Yes, Nathan. Do you remember anyone else?"

Haley threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't remember, Luke. I just know things. Like I know you…and Peyton. And my mom! Oh my God, my parents are dead, Luke! I don't remember, but I just know that."

Lucas nodded sadly confirming this was true. "Your dad died three years ago and your mom last year. But think about Nathan, Hales," Lucas redirected her. "What do you remember about him?"

"I told you!" Haley said, her voice growing louder with frustration. "I don't remember! I just know things; like I know I'm supposed to be with him which is why this hurts so much! How could he do that Luke? How he could just find someone new?"

"Haley—"

"Did he cheat on me?" Haley asked returning to her earlier theory. "Did he get her pregnant and then marry her? Does he love her?" Haley paused and looked away. "Forget it, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

They both looked up as Nathan left the house and walked towards them.

"Give me a minute," Lucas said getting up. He met his brother in the middle of the yard, and began to speak quietly so Haley couldn't hear.

"How is she?" Nathan asked.

"Not good. She knows some things but says she doesn't remember anything."

"No kidding. She thought I was married to Brooke," Nathan said flatly. "What do I do, Luke?"

"I don't know, Nate. I honestly don't."

"I can't let her inside. I have my family to think about. They have to come first."

"I know. I still don't understand how she got here."

"Tell me about it," Nathan said angrily. "She's got to go back. This is not good for her…or my family."

"You want to tell her?" Lucas asked apprehensively.

"I guess it should come from me," Nathan reluctantly admitted. "Can you stick around? I want to bring her myself."

"Yeah. I called Peyton right after you called. She's going to come here after work and we'll take care of the kids."

"Thanks, man. I don't know what I would do without you two."

"Just take care of her, Nate. Don't worry about anything else."

Haley watched as Lucas headed towards the house as Nathan walked towards her. Her entire body stiffened as a mixture of nerves and anger set in. Once he got closer and their eyes met, the anger faded, her body relaxed and a calmness filled her. Nathan took a seat next to her and Haley looked at him for a brief second before resting her head on his shoulder. She felt his arm around her shoulders and then felt his soft kiss on her forehead. Haley closed her eyes and let herself imagine for a minute this was the way things were supposed to be. Just like other things, it was something she felt in her heart, but then reality came crashing back. She sat up straight and looked away. She turned back when Nathan took her hand and kissed it softly.

In her head, Haley knew this wasn't right. She jerked her hand away and shifted away from Nathan. "You shouldn't do things like that. I'm sure your wife wouldn't like that."

"You're right. I'm sorry," Nathan said remorsefully.

Now Haley felt guilty as she read Nathan's emotions. For most people he always kept things carefully guarded and put up the bravado of a tough, confident guy, but he was always transparent to her. It was one of the things that drew them together. "You're hurting. Tell me why."

Nathan choked out a series of short breaths as he appeared to stifle a sob. He closed his eyes, swallowed hard and regained his composure. He opened his eyes which were now a deeper shade of blue. "I hate to see you like this. It's so hard."

Haley stood up but was quickly pulled back down by Nathan. "I need to leave. Just let me go."

"You need to go back to the hospital, Hales."

"Don't call me Hales!" Haley snapped. This was ridiculous. They were both hurting each other more deeply with each passing second and yet he wouldn't let her leave. Then what he said sunk in. "Hospital?"

"Yes. You belong in the hospital. The doctors don't know how you got here. You shouldn't have left like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Haley eyes fell on the bracelet she had been fiddling with. She held it up so she could read it. "St. Mary's Psychiatric Hospital." Haley's heart began racing. She looked at Nathan with panic. Nathan swiftly moved on top of her and began holding her shoulders. Haley tried pushing him off of her, but he was so strong. "Nathan! Nathan, get off! What are you doing?"

Nathan pulled back a little bit and looked right in her eyes. He was so close, she couldn't see him clearly. She tried to move away, but she had nowhere to go. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" Haley yelled.

He finally appeared satisfied with what he saw and moved off of her. "Sorry. I thought…Never mind."

"Nathan, what the hell is going on? Am I crazy? Is that why everyone's all wound up around me? Did I like, do something horrible? Please tell me."

Nathan fell silent for a minute and then stood up. He put his hands in his pockets and looked at her resolutely. "This is why you need to talk to the doctors. They need to explain this to you, because I can't. All I know is that we're not supposed to tell you anything. You're supposed to remember on your own."

"Why? I don't understand why you can't tell me."

"Because we tried that before…more than once, actually, and it ended badly every time."

Haley tried to process this as she looked at the house. The little girl was peering out the window again. "Is that why you moved on? You just gave up on me?"

Nathan looked distraught as he ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know how to deal with this!" He voiced his frustrations aloud.

Haley stood up, went over and put her arms around his waist and hugged him. No matter what happened between them, she still had the desire to comfort him. "It's okay."

"Oh, God," Nathan's voice cracked as he hugged her back. "I still need you so much. Please don't leave again. I'm sorry I lost faith."

When Haley pulled away from him, she saw a few tears had spilled from his eyes. Her heart clenched with sorrow. This was killing both of them. "I'll go back to the hospital."

"I'll take you," Nathan said pulling some keys from his pocket.

Haley looked back at the house. "No, Nathan. You're place is here. Stay with your family."

Nathan looked back at the house and saw the little girl waving to him. He looked back at Haley. He was clearly torn. "I'll come by first thing in the morning."

"No," Haley shook her head. "I mean it, Nathan. I want the best for you. Stay away, just don't forget me."

Nathan shook his head vehemently. "I can't do that, Hales."

Haley watched as he walked back to the house. She wasn't sure what he meant by those words. He couldn't forget her? Or couldn't stay away? Which ever it was, it still left her feeling the same; heartbroken and hurt.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Nothing" (The Script)<p>

AN: Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think! The next chapter is much longer and I will try and post that real soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 2: "Nothing" (The Script)

Haley looked up at the nurse that appeared at her door of her room.

"Dr. Stevens is ready to see you," the nurse announced.

Haley got up and followed the nurse down a couple of corridors. As the nurse began to slow down, Haley noticed Nathan standing at the top of the hallway talking to a professional looking older gentleman. They shook hands then looked up as Haley reached them.

Nathan gave her a weak smile, patted her on the back and then walked past her. It took Haley a minute to realize the gentleman was calling her name as Haley kept her eyes focused on Nathan until he disappeared.

"James?…Ms. James?"

Haley turned her attention back to the gentleman. He held out his hand and she shook it.

"I'm Dr. Stevens," he said warmly. He gestured towards his office. "Why don't we go in and sit down?"

Haley followed the doctor into the office and took a seat on the couch in front of his desk. He took a seat opposite from her.

"Why was Nathan here?" Haley asked once they were settled. Not only had she asked him to stay away, but it didn't seem right that her doctor was talking to him, presumably about her.

"Mr. Scott…has a vested interest in your case. Are you aware of that…Ms. James?"

"I'm not sure I understand," Haley admitted.

"Why did you end up at his house last night? What lead you there?" Dr. Stevens asked.

"I don't know. I just felt like I should be there, I guess."

"Then, when you were there, did you feel that way? Did you feel like you belonged there?"

"No, I didn't. I saw that Nathan had a family and it was all just too much for me. I regret going there like that. It just made everything worse."

Dr. Stevens nodded and jotted down some notes on the legal pad in front of him. "Okay, how did you feel with Nathan though? He said the two of you talked for a little bit."

"That felt okay. In some ways it was natural, except in my head, I knew it was wrong. I also felt like something was missing. Am I right? There's something really big I'm missing. I can feel it in my heart and it has something to do with Nathan."

Dr. Stevens nodded sadly. "Yes, you're right."

"Can't you just tell me what's going on? What am I missing? What should I remember that I don't?"

"Let me explain your medical condition. You're suffering from a TBI, which stands for Traumatic Brain Injury. For a while, you were in a coma due to brain swelling, but once you woke up, you began experience some severe seizures. We had to put you into a medically induced coma as we tried to find the right combination of medicine that would control the seizures. We believed we did, but unfortunately once you were fully conscious and started to recall the events surrounding your injury, the seizures started back up again. At this point, we're still not able to separate the correlation from the causation."

"What does that mean?"

"We don't know if remembering your past induced the seizures or if it was the medication wasn't working and that just happened at the same time. But each time you saw something from right before," Dr. Stevens paused as if trying to choose his words carefully, "_the accident_, it triggered it a seizure."

"Someone died in the accident," Haley blurted out. She looked bewilderedly at the doctor to explain her own words.

"Yes," Dr. Stevens confirmed.

"Was it my fault?"

"I'm in no position to make that kind of judgment. Let's just say that no one is holding you accountable for what happened and the important thing to focus on is that you're alive and recovering."

This was all overwhelming for Haley to think about. She had to compartmentalize what she was hearing and process it later. "Did the seizures cause brain damage?"

"No. Seizures are really just your brain's way of shutting down so it can rest when faced with overstimulation. It forces your body to shut down. The danger with seizures most of the time is the timing. People can suffer from injuries from a fall taken with the onset of seizure. The other concern is choking on one's tongue. In most circumstances, it is best to roll the patient on their side to avoid choking and let the seizure take its course. Then, when the brain has recovered, the patient regains consciousness. In your case, Ms. James, since you were in the hospital when you took those seizures, we were able to keep you out of harm's way. Our goal became stopping the seizures with a use of medication that would allow you to function in everyday life. Some of the medicines we tried kept you in a groggy state in which you were unable to function. Now, we hope that we finally found the right combination to do both."

"What about my memory? Why do I just know some things, but I don't remember them?"

"It's call retrograde amnesia and it is associated with TBI. The good news is that it's almost always temporary. It takes time, but your memory should come back, including the accident."

"How long will it take?"

"Unfortunately, there's no set timetable, Ms. James."

"But I feel fine. Can't you just tell me what happened?"

"To be honest," Dr. Stevens said leaning forward with his hands clasped, "the doctors here working on your case have a split opinion. Some believe now that the medication seems to have been worked out, you should be able to handle that. Others, like me, point to the fact that we only were able to control your seizures and bring you to a full state of consciousness over the past week. I think it still needs more time to be on safe side so we can separate the causation from the correlation. Therefore, it's my medical opinion that you should just let your memories return to you naturally and stay under our supervision. You are welcome to receive a second opinion, however."

"How long do you want me to stay here?"

"Two days at the minimum, a few weeks at the most if everything's stable. You see, you missed a dose of your medication when you skipped out on us last night and now we want to keep you here until it's fully back in your system."

"In two days, you're telling me I can leave?" Haley asked hopefully.

"Yes, but I would hope you wouldn't do that."

Haley sighed as she considered this. She wanted to get the hell out of this place as soon as possible. Two days sounded good to her. "I'll think about it."

"Good. In the meantime, we can continue to meet to discuss your recollections. Have you had any yet?"

"Not really. Like I said, there are just some things I know. Then, sometimes, I just say things I don't understand. It's like my brain is operating on a delay."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Well, like what I said about the accident. I don't remember it, but I just knew that someone died. Then, last night I told Lucas I missed him, but it wasn't until after that I actually felt that. _I said it, then I felt it._"

"Any others?"

"Last night when Brooke drove me here I asked her when she dyed her hair. Then I realized I remembered it having highlights. It's like I say it, then I have to figure it out. It's like a puzzle, I guess, and I'm trying to put it all together."

"You're right—it is like a puzzle and I suspect everything is all there, just lodged in your subconscious and sometimes it peeks itself out. Was there anything else?"

"Not things I remember for sure, but things I put together." Haley saw Dr. Stevens wanted another example of this as he looked up from the notes he was taking. "Like, I know that somewhere along the way Nathan and I split up. At first I thought maybe he cheated on me with his current wife, but now I think I understand." Haley looked down at her hands as sadness filled her heart. "I couldn't have children….and he wanted them so badly. I guess I can't blame him for finding someone who could give him that." A single tear rolled down Haley's cheek as she looked up at Dr. Stevens. He was staring at her and didn't appear to have written that down.

"You put that together all on your own?" Dr. Stevens asked as he wore an expression of dismay.

"Yes," Haley nodded.

"Does that match what you're feeling?"

"What do you mean?"

"You told me you felt like things were natural Nathan. It seems as if you feeling something entirely different from the version of events you are piecing together in your mind."

Haley furrowed her brows in frustration and ran one of hands through her hair. "What are getting at?"

"Be very careful, Ms. James, in distinguishing between things you truly recall, your feelings, and the pieces of the puzzle you are working so hard to fit together. It will all come back to you; just have some faith and give it time."

Haley's forehead began pounding. "I think I want to go back to my room. I'm not feeling so well."

"I'll walk you," Dr. Steven offered. They walked down the corridors with Dr. Stevens leading the way. Once they reached her room, he waited as Haley took a seat on her bed. "I know you're confused, so let me leave you with one last bit of advice; trust what you feel more than anything else. It will lead you in the right direction."

"Thanks," Haley said graciously. Once he left, she threw up her hands in frustration. That last bit of advice left her even more confused.

Haley got up and walked over to the windows trying to get a sense of clarity. It was then she noticed a duffel bag sitting on the chair. She picked up the bag and put it on her bed. She didn't remember it being there before, but then again, her memory wasn't the greatest. As she opened the bag, a wave of flashes hit her, forcing her to take a seat on the bed.

This bag…she used it when she went on tour. She was a singer, she had an album, and it had been a hit. She also remembered Nathan joining her on that tour. The tour had initially been a tough time for them as a couple. It had taken a toll on their relationship, but they had made it through it. She thought about it some more and things started coming back to her. Yes, they had been happy in the end, yet she still couldn't figure out exactly when that was. She unzipped the bag and began looking in it, hoping to get some answers. Inside were some clothes, a couple of snacks, and two books. One book she recognized as her own. It was a worn copy of _Les Misèrables_. The second was book she didn't remember and looked new; _The Notebook_. Curious, Haley moved her duffel bag back to the chair and settled in on her bed with the book. A few pages in, it seemed vaguely familiar, yet she still couldn't remember reading it. She continued reading it, becoming more and more hooked with every page.

* * *

><p>Just as Haley finished packing up her belongings, Dr. Stevens appeared at her door with Nathan by his side.<p>

"So I hear you're checking out," Dr. Stevens said disappointedly. "Can't say I'm happy about that. I hope you'll at least keep your outpatient appointments."

"I will. It's nothing against you, Dr. Stevens. Everyone here is very nice. I'm just going a little stir crazy and I feel fine."

"We have some paperwork for you to fill out at the desk. I trust Nathan will take good care of you."

"Nathan?—" Haley began to protest but stopped as Nathan pushed past the doctor and entered her room.

"I was hoping I could give you a ride," Nathan said.

"I'll leave you two to talk. Ms. James, I'll see you in two days, right?"

"Promise," Haley said assuredly. Once the doctor left she turned to Nathan. "You don't have to do this."

"I want to…and I already came all this way."

This made Haley feel worse. St. Mary's was an hour away from Tree Hill and apparently Nathan had been a frequent visitor. She had inadvertently seen a copy of the log in sheet the previous day when he visited and everyday but the one she had snuck out, his name was there. She couldn't see how far it went back, but it looked like it was at least a month.

Their visit yesterday had been short, but kind of nice. They had just watched a couple of sitcoms, but mostly sat in silence. It was a little awkward, but in the end, it left Haley feeling calm and she enjoyed the companionship. But the prospect of being alone in a car with him was having the opposite effect; that was making her nervous, but she didn't really have a good excuse for turning him down. It wasn't like she had anyone else there to drive her. "Okay."

After filling out the required paperwork, Nathan helped Haley to his car by carrying her bag. It was only when she was getting inside of his car that she realized she spotted it on her own. Apparently, she had been in it before. After a few minutes of driving in silence, Haley saw that Nathan seemed to know where he was going. Good thing, because she didn't. She had no idea where she lived. "Are you taking me home?"

Nathan looked at her seriously. "Where do you want me to take you?"

"Home, I guess. I just don't remember where that is. You must know, right?"

"I'm not sure what you think of as home these days, Hales. I was actually going to take you to a place that is kind of like home. Do you remember Whitey?"

"Yes!" Haley smiled as a picture of Nathan's old basketball coach filled her mind. Then, her face fell. "He died, didn't he? He had a heart attack."

"Yes, a little over a year ago, right around the time…" Nathan trailed off as if unsure he should finish.

"My mom died," Haley finished quietly.

"You remember?"

"Not exactly. I just knew that."

"Okay, well, we're going to a cabin that used to belong to him. He only used in during the summer and then moved there after he retired. After he died, we found out he left it-to you."

"Me?" Haley asked surprised. "Why?"

"He…took a liking to you?" Nathan answered hesitantly.

Haley understood there was more to this and that Nathan didn't want to explain. She tried to picture the cabin in her mind…and was relieved to find she could. "I remember! We used to sneak in there, when we were in high school! You knew where he kept his spare key!"

Nathan chuckled. "Yeah, I can't believe I convinced you to come with me. Do you remember the time I convinced you to cut school and we both got drunk?"

"And your dad caught us and I puked all over his lap!" Haley blurted out.

They shared a quick smile then laughed about that memory. For the rest of the ride, Nathan and Haley talked about their high school days, with Haley occasionally remembering small chunks of things, and other times just stating facts she knew. By the time they reached the cabin which was located right along the Cape Fear River, they were both in high spirits as it seemed that what Dr. Stevens said was true. Things would come back with time.

As soon as Haley set foot in the cabin, her anxiety returned. It was a small place, with a wood-burning stove, simple living room, kitchen in the back and two bedrooms. Haley didn't need to look around the place. She remembered exactly what it looked like and where everything was, especially the bedroom. She turned to Nathan, who was talking off his light jacket and shoes as if he was getting settled. The significance of this cabin was unsettling to her.

"This is where we made love for the first time," Haley stated bluntly.

Nathan just nodded solemnly. He put his hands on her shoulders and examined her. "You okay?"

"Yes. I just don't understand why you brought me here. Wouldn't be better if someone else did? Like what about Lucas?"

"_I_ wanted to bring you here. I was also hoping you would let me hang out for a while. I'll even cook you dinner."

"Shouldn't you be home? What about your wife, Nathan? This can't be good for your marriage."

Nathan brushed her hair back behind her ear. "Let me worry about that."

Haley took a step back. "This is not right, Nathan. You can't touch me like that…and I can't let you risk ruining your marriage."

"It's not like that, Hales, I swear."

Haley took his hand and pointed to his wedding ring. "Are you or are you not married?"

"I am, but it's not what you think," Nathan said desperately. Haley looked at him to explain. He walked away and headed towards the window. He kept her back to her as he spoke. "My wife left me."

Haley's heart sank as she felt the tension and sadness that was in his voice. "What? She left you? And your daughter?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Nathan turned back around to face her. "It doesn't matter. Listen, I just want to spend a little time with you. Can we just try and stay in the present and not think so much about the past? It just hurts too much and I really don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. I didn't mean to pry, Nathan. I just didn't want to make things worse for you."

"Trust me, you aren't. This is exactly where I want to be."

* * *

><p>Haley was fully aware of the compromising position she was in when she snuggled in next to Nathan on the couch. It was after dinner, dusk had fallen and Nathan didn't seem to have any intention of leaving. Haley honestly didn't want him to leave, but she still had that voice in her head warning her about protecting not only her heart, but his. She knew this couldn't end well. In sharp contrast to her head, was the fact that her heart was completely at ease and full of love. She thought about Dr. Steven's advice to trust what she felt. So Haley tried her best to block out that voice and focus on what she felt in her heart.<p>

"I don't want you to go," Haley said softly.

"Then I won't go."

"Really?" Haley's inner voice broke through her wall. "Don't you have to?"

"Lucas and Peyton are taking care of things for me. They've been real good to…me."

"I'm not surprised. Your brother has always been there for you."

"And you. He's been there for you, too."

"I know," Haley said feeling it was true. "You've been there for me, too, haven't you? I know you came to visit me."

"But you don't remember?"

"No. How long was I there?"

"You were at St. Mary's for a little over two months. We moved you there after they started trying to get the seizure medicine right."

"What about before that?"

Nathan shook his head letting her know that line of questioning wasn't good. "Just be here with me."

"I am." Without thinking, Haley leaned into him and gave him a deep kiss.

Nathan began to reciprocate and before long, they were heavily making out. Nathan pushed her flat on her back and moved over her. As lust, passion and heat consumed their bodies, Nathan began unbuttoning her pants and slid his hand to her center. Haley cried out when his hands slid into her wetness. She closed her eyes as he worked her over until she climaxed. Then she let him pick her up and carry her to the bedroom.

Once inside, they shed their clothes and resumed making out. Haley's hands eventually made it ways to his hardness. He stilled his movements as she began to pump it as he whispered her name. Once he was wet and throbbing, Nathan pulled away and picked up his pants from the floor. He fished out his wallet and pulled out a condom. As he began to put it on, Haley finally came to her senses.

Haley was sitting upright, startling Nathan when he turned around. "Nathan—"

"Shhhhh," Nathan said putting his finger over her lips as he gently pushed her back down.

Haley pushed away his hand and began to speak again. "We shouldn't—"

"Haley, stay with me. This feels right, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but—"

"No, buts. This is you and me; just like it's supposed to be. I know you think I gave up on us, but I didn't. I love you, Hales. I've always loved you. Always and forever."

"Me too. I love you so much."

"Then let me make love to you. Let me show you how much I love you."

"But it's just not right," Haley lightly protested.

"I promise you, it's completely right. Just trust me. Have faith."

Haley looked into Nathan's glistening blue eyes and believed him. "I trust you."

Nathan hovered over her, gave her soft kiss and then rested his forehead on hers. He appeared to be having second thoughts. "Are you sure? I don't want to push you. I just can't help how I feel."

"I want this too," Haley confirmed with both her words and her eyes.

Nathan began laying a trail of kisses up and down her body, stemming from her neck all the way down to her stomach. There, he purposely spent time kissing the scars that stretched across Haley's abdomen. Haley just laid back and took this all in as her body responded to his touch. She knew this hadn't happened between them in a long while and suspected that was the reason all her senses were heightened. It was as if her body was craving this, but also trying to savor it since it didn't know when this would happen again.

Once Nathan's mouth returned to hers, they bodies began to move together as if they had a mind of their own. It was as if they had done this a million times before as a routine seemed to kick in. Haley reached down and placed Nathan's member at her entrance. A second later, Nathan gently slid in her, all while they continued kissing, their passion further ignited by their battling tongues. Once fully inside of her, Haley wrapped her legs around Nathan, hooking them together over his ass. Their bodies then began to move in synch, slowly at first as both emitted sounds of pleasure. The kissing stopped as Nathan buried his face against the side of Haley's and picked up his pace.

When Haley heard Nathan say her name, she opened her eyes and found him staring at her. She knew this was different than their typical routine when they made love. Instead of just giving into the passion as they had been doing, he wanted something more; he wanted them focusing on each other. It was Nathan's way of staying connected to her, as they stared deep into each other's eyes, and they entered the final throes of passion. Haley grabbed the back of his neck and bit her lip as she felt the end coming near. Her hips began forcefully bucking towards his, meeting him thrust for thrust, yet she kept her eyes glued to his. She began crying out loudly, not able to fully focus on the meaning behind the words coming of Nathan's mouth.

"Only you, Haley," Nathan whispered intently. "It's always been you. You're the one. I was faithful to you, I promise. I don't want anyone but you."

"Nathan,…I want you," Haley responded with a sense of desperation. She was so close and she sensed him holding back. "It's been so long."

"Yes. Too long, baby." With that, Nathan gave himself over to her and seconds later, they both reached their climax.

Nathan rolled off of her, but then quickly guided her to his side. He gave her kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Hales."

"I love you, too."

They lay that way silently for a few minutes before Nathan excused himself to use the bathroom. He threw his t-shirt towards Haley, took his boxers in his hand and headed off. Haley slipped on his t-shirt and looked over at the clock on the nightstand. It was only 8 p.m. Next to the clock, was a picture frame lying flat She picked it up and gasped when she saw the picture.

It was Nathan's little girl. She looked like she was about three years old, so Haley assumed it was a little dated. She had big, bright blue eyes, long brown hair and her smile was more of smirk, just like Nathan's. With the exception of her feminine features, she looked exactly like him. Her heart melted as she thought about how strikingly beautiful this girl was and thought about how lucky Nathan was to have the child he always wanted.

Nathan stopped short when he came back into the room and saw Haley fingering the picture. He scooted over on the bed so he was sitting next to her. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

Tears began forming in Haley's eyes. "So beautiful."

"She's just like her mother."

The tears began splashing over and rolling down Haley's cheeks as she considered this. She looked at Nathan. "How could her mother just leave her like that? And you? How could she leave both of you?"

Nathan's face fell as this question seemed to hit him hard. He just shook his head at Haley and she was left to assume he had no reasonable explanation to offer. Haley placed the picture back on the nightstand. Her eyes lingered on the blowing brown curtains adjacent to the bed. A shiver ran down her spine. She was on the verge of remembering something, but then she lost it. She turned her attention back to Nathan and saw he was upset. She rested her head on the top of shoulder in effort to comfort him. "I don't blame you, Nathan. I know you always wanted kids."

Nathan moved slightly away so he could look at her face. "Tell me what's going on in your head right now. Are you confused?"

"A little."

"About what?"

A blush swept across Haley's face as she thought about the thing that didn't make the most sense to her.

Nathan ran his thumb over Haley's wet cheeks. "You can tell me."

Haley looked down at her hands as she gathered her courage. It was an awkward point to bring up, but they had just been intimate and it was something she just couldn't let go of. "I guess I don't understand why you need to use protection if you know I can't have kids."

Nathan looked genuinely shocked. "You can't have kids?"

"Yes,..um,…isn't that right?" Haley asked now more confused.

"Did the doctors tell you that?"

"I'm not sure. It's just something else I know."

Nathan thought this over for a moment. He took her hand in his. "Well, I think it's better if we use protection just to be safe. I mean, look at what happened to Brooke…"

"What?"

"The doctors told her she couldn't get pregnant. Eventually she and Julian looked into adoption and then- BAMN- she gets pregnant. With twins, no less!"

"Twins?" Haley asked with a smile.

"They just found out. Don't tell her I told you."

Haley nodded and then tried to push aside this exciting news as she began to process the other things Nathan said. He told her he still wanted to use protection…which meant he wanted to continue to be intimate with her. She looked back towards the picture of the little girl. "We can't do this again, Nathan."

Nathan looked miffed. "Why not?"

"You know why…"

Nathan gave a playful smile and began to creep over her. Once close enough, he pushed Haley down and began tickling her. "Is it because you don't want me to tickle you? Is that why?"

Haley was laughingly wildly as Nathan hit all of tender spots. Her body was going into a frenzy as she tried to fight him off. It was no use; he had the ability to overpower her and knew her body all too well. "Stop! Stop, please," she begged.

"Not until you admit you want me to make love to you again. Tell me, Haley. Just say it and I'll stop."

Haley's eyes caught sight of the curtains again. The memory hit her long a ton of bricks. Nathan must have noticed the far off look in her eyes because he stopping tickling her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Baby, what is it?"

"We were here before. Here in this bed. You were tickling me. We were about to make love, but it was light out. It must have been the middle of the day. You had on a grey pair of boxes and were trying to get my green polo off. Is that right?"

"Yes."

"When was that? It feels like it wasn't that long ago."

"About nine months ago, I think."

Haley sat straight up as guilt began to consume her. "I didn't want to do it. I was worried we were going to get caught. I thought she was going to show up, but you told me we had a least an hour." Haley looked to Nathan for confirmation. He was shaking his head in disbelief. "Nathan, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that was just a dream."

"I don't know what to say. That day was very special for us."

"My mom had died not long before that. You brought me here to relax." Haley got up out the bed as she began piecing thing together. "We were having an affair. That's it, right? That's why your wife left. She found out about us…and you wouldn't let me go—I can feel that, just like I do now—and she couldn't take it. She had to leave."

"This was a mistake," Nathan muttered.

"What?"

"I said," Nathan said more loudly and clearly, "this was mistake. We never should have done this." He got up out of bed and began putting on his clothes.

"You're right. I want to leave. I can't stay here. It just makes me think about what a horrible person I am and how I destroyed your family."

"Haley, that's just not true, but…I can't help you. I thought I could, but I can't. I think I pushed too much, too soon."

As was becoming common, Haley didn't take the time to process his words, but instead was still stuck on her last words as she worked on the pieces of the puzzle. "What's her name, Nathan? Tell me your daughter's name."

Nathan looked heartbroken. He walked over to her and looked at her as if he was trying to will her to remember.

"I know it, don't I?" Haley asked understanding. "I just don't remember it. I'm sorry, Nathan, but I don't. I feel a connection to that girl in the picture. I can see what she looks like now—she has bangs, right? I feel like I knew her and she knew me, but I can't remember why."

Nathan nodded sadly. "Why don't you get dressed…I'll take you to Brooke and Julian's before it gets too late."

"Why not Lucas'?"

"It's better if you don't go there."

As Nathan left the room leaving her privacy to get changed, Haley felt more alone than ever. She knew that she had disappointed Nathan with her inability to remember someone like his daughter, who clearly was the most important person in his life. In addition to that, the emptiness inside her was growing bigger with each minute. There was a whole in heart and apparently Nathan couldn't fill that. She was becoming desperate to uncover the missing pieces of this puzzle and that was becoming increasing more complicated with every recollection. She was also nervous that when she did finally put it all together, she might now like what she saw. After all, it was the kind of information that led to an extended stay in a psychiatric hospital.

* * *

><p>Nathan was sitting at a local bar, attempting to find some solace by drinking his problems away. He wasn't surprised when his brother appeared out of nowhere and took a seat next to him and ordered a drink of his own.<p>

"So…" Lucas began. "I thought you would come by and see the kids after what happened."

"Brooke called you?"

"Julian, actually." Lucas chuckled. "Of course he wasn't man enough to come down here himself!"

Nathan didn't respond to Lucas' attempt at a joke. "Well, the kids are asleep, right? There's no point."

"Yeah. Peyton got the girls excited to have a girl sleepover. They're all spread out in sleeping bags on the floor of my bedroom—and that includes Peyton."

Nathan gave a weak smile as the mental image formed in his mind. "That's nice."

"So what now?" Lucas asked seriously.

Nathan took a sip from his beer bottle. "What do you mean?"

"What happens now? What's the game plan?"

Nathan shrugged despondently. "I got nothing."

Lucas scoffed. "What does mean? You're giving up?"

Nathan began to grow irritated. "Is that what you think? No, Luke, I'm not giving up, but I also don't have a plan. I tried and I failed. There's nothing I can do."

"That's not exactly true," Lucas said slowly.

Nathan slammed his fist on the bar. "Don't go there, Luke. You know I can't do that."

"You could give it a shot. It might be the only thing."

"You're asking me to choose between them and in the end, Haley has to come second! You know that!"

"I know, but maybe it doesn't have to be that way. It could work."

"I can't take the risk. You weren't there last time. You didn't see what happened. My daughter comes first."

"I know. It kills me that I can't even let Sawyer be around her," Lucas lamented.

Nathan glared at Lucas. "Don't tell me it's tough not letting _your daughter_ be around Haley."

Lucas grew remorseful. "You're right. I know whatever I'm going through has to be a thousand times worse for you."

"I…thought it was bad before, when she was lying in that hospital bed…but this is so much worse."

Lucas put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Have a little faith, Nathan. It's all going to work out. Like you said, it just needs time."

"I'm sick of waiting…and with the things going through Haley's mind, I have a feeling it's going to get even worse."

"It'll get better. She's still Haley, Nate. That's why she's trying so hard to put everything together. She's still got that fight in her and she's trying to get it all back."

"But it's like she doesn't know me at all. The things she's saying to me are eating at me. I don't know how she could even think those things at all."

"Don't give up. It's not her fault her mind is going crazy and she has this need to make sense of it. It won't be long before it happens on its own."

"Maybe if I just say the right words…"

* * *

><p>Haley was bundled up under the covers in the guestroom at Brooke and Julian's when she heard the incessant doorbell ringing compounded with the banging on the front door. She hadn't been able to fall asleep, but didn't want to leave the security of the confines of the bedroom to investigate either. Only when she heard Nathan's voice, did she get out of bed and wander out into the living room. She found a visibly drunk and slurring Nathan standing in the door way, being blocked from coming in by Julian.<p>

Haley tried not to laugh because Julian even in the most sober state was no match for Nathan in his most drunken state, yet he was giving it his best shot.

"Nate, my wife is four months pregnant with twins. I can't have her under this stress," Julian nervously explained.

"Your wife?" Nathan shouted. "Let's talk about my wife! She doesn't even want me!"

As Haley came into their view both men stopped talking and Julian stepped aside, granting Nathan entrance to the house. He walked towards Haley, but she began backing away.

"Nathan, this is not a good idea," Haley said slowly.

"You're wrong. I can fix this, I know I can. I can make you remember."

"That's crazy, Nathan. You can't do that. Just leave. Do what's best for you and go home to your family."

"You're what's best for me!" Nathan yelled desperately. He looked wildly at Julian. "Would you tell her, Julian? Back me up here!"

"Uh…" Julian looked around the room nervous, unsure of what to do. He turned back to Nathan. "I really think you need to go."

Everyone looked up as Brooke appeared in the living room. She was wearing her bathrobe and was rubbing her stomach. "What's going on here?"

"Haley is alive, Brooke," Nathan announced dramatically. "She's here and I'm trying to explain to your husband that she needs to come home."

"Nathan, I went to that place and it didn't feel like home. Dr. Stevens told me to trust what I feel and I have to go with that."

"What about me? How did you feel with me?"

"Not right. You can't fix me…you can't fill that whole in my heart. I wish you could, but you can't. In fact, it's even worse than it was before. We both need to move on."

"But you're alive," Nathan said quietly. "You're alive," his voice grew louder as he took a step closer to Haley. Haley looked helpless at both Brooke and Julian. "That's got to count for something!"

"I don't know what you want from me," Haley cried out helplessly.

"Stop hurting me like this. Please," Nathan begged. "Tell me you don't believe those things you said at the cabin. Tell you don't think that about me."

"Nathan, I'm sorry….I can't give you what you need."

"Please, Haley," Nathan pleaded. "I have faith, I swear I do. Just come back to me. You made it through everything and you're alive. All I need now is for you to come back."

Haley felt like a knife was piercing through her heart as she witnessed the pain Nathan was going through, but she couldn't give him what he needed and it killed her. "I wish I were dead," Haley said through a sob that crept up from the pit of her stomach.

Brooke moved next to her and put her arm around her. "Haley—"

"No, it's true. All I'm doing is hurting everyone. I feel like I ruined everything."

"Oh, fuck! Don't say that," Nathan blurted out.

"I can't take this. I was better off dead. It should have been me that died. Just leave, Nathan. Just leave and don't come back."

Tears formed in Nathan's eyes as he looked from Haley to Brooke to Julian. "This is it, isn't it? She's gone. She's not coming back."

"Take him home, Julian," Brooke sighed. "He needs to sleep this off."

Nathan led Julian guide him out of the house and Haley let Brooke guide her back to bed. As Brooke went to shut off the lights, she gave Haley one last piece of encouragement. "It's going to get better, Haley. I promise it will."

"You don't know that," Haley sobbed.

"I do. Once upon a time, I was in a really bad place. I thought I couldn't have kids, Julian and I tried to adopt, but it fell through at the last minute, and you were the one who pulled me through it. You promised me everything would work out and it did." Brooke looked down proudly at her stomach. "I promise you the same thing. Just have faith."

"But I don't, Brooke. I don't have any faith."

"But you do, Haley. You're just scared to let it shine through. Get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and you'll feel better then."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Arms" (Christina Perri)<p>

AN: Thanks so much for all the support and reviews! If you are confused….good! You are supposed to be! This is a short story and pretty much written, so you shouldn't have to wait long to get your answers.

For those of you waiting for my other story, I hope to have it up by Thurs. The prologue is a time jump so I have to be careful with it because I am locked into what I post. So I am checking, rechecking, etc.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 3: "Arms" (Christina Perri)

Haley was in the midst of taking a long walk around Tree Hill when she stumbled down a familiar street. She quickly realized it was the street Lucas grew up on. She knew Lucas now lived in that house with Peyton. As she drew nearer to their house, she saw Peyton drive past her. From a distance, she watched as Peyton got out of the car and then went around to the back seat. She opened the car door, leaned in and emerged carrying a baby on her hip. From where she was standing, Haley could only surmise it was a boy, judging from his blue clothing. She briefly debated running to catch up with Peyton, but in the end decided against it. She had heard about Sawyer, but this child was a surprise. She was hurt that no one had thought to share with her that Lucas and Peyton had two children. She was left to assume it was because they had no intentions of letting her meet them. Feeling discouraged, Haley turned around and headed back towards Brooke and Julian's house.

Haley was slightly sweaty from the brisk pace she had taken up by the time she arrived back at the house. At least she had been able to let off some frustration, but she still was upset. Brooke picked up on this right away as Haley joined her in the kitchen and fixed herself a glass of water.

"Did something happen?" Brooke asked.

Haley took a long drink of water, set the glass down and faced Brooke. "Are you going to let me near your kids when they're born?"

"Of course! Why would you even ask that?"

"Because Lucas and Peyton don't want me around their kids and Nathan won't even tell me his daughter's name."

"It's complicated, Haley. I know it's hard, but try to stop trying to figure things out and let things come back to you on their own." Brooke then gave her a perplexed look. "What did you say about Lucas and Peyton?"

Their conversation was interrupted as Julian arrived carrying some bags of ice cream. He lined up five cartons on the counter for a deliriously excited Brooke.

"Pregnancy cravings?" Haley chuckled.

"You have no idea!" Brooke exclaimed.

"It was Ho Ho's for me. I couldn't get enough of those things," Haley blurted out. She began to examine each of the flavors, then realized silence had filled the air. She looked up to the stunned matching expressions on both Brooke and Julian's faces. Haley threw her hands over her mouth and audibly gasped. Next, she lifted up her shirt and looked at the scars extending across her abdomen.

"Haley—" Brooke began.

"I need to get out of here." Haley brushed past both Julian and Brooke and headed out the door. Once outside she began heading towards the Riverwalk, a long walkway that lined the Cape Fear River that was always a source of comfort to her.

By the time she reached her destination, Haley's face was bright red and sopping wet. She took a seat on one of the benches and tried to compose herself. She struggled with the battling concepts of trying to piece things together and letting them go. But this, the idea that she had once been pregnant, was something she couldn't just let go. So, she began to think things through. There had been an accident. Someone died. The circumstances surrounding this accident were so devastating that it may have induced her seizures.

Haley looked up as a she heard a loud bunch of school children approaching from the distance. It looked like they were on a field trip. There was a teacher at both the front and back of the line and all of the children were holding hands. Haley was mesmerized at the innocence and gaiety of the kids. She tried to imagine what it was like to be that age and not to have a care in the world.

Then her whole world stopped. A pair of large bright blue eyes fixed on hers. They were filled with a small trace of fear and a large amount of shock. It was Nathan's little girl and that connection that Haley felt when she looked at the picture was magnified beyond belief. The little girl's feet began to drag and the people holding her hands had to push her along. Haley's heart began thumping wildly as she watched the little girl, who was visibly struggling to keep Haley in her view, disappear as the group turned a corner.

Haley stood up and was just about to walk towards the direction the group when in when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around and collapsed into a heap of sobs when she saw Nathan.

Nathan took her in his arms. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

Haley poured out all her emotions in the security of the arms of the man she loved. Once she had no tears left to cry, she wiped her face on Nathan's shirt. When she looked up at him, she read relief on his face. "I feel better. My heart…it feels better."

"I bet it does."

Haley looked back in the direction of the children. "I saw your little girl. I…I want to see her again."

"You saw her?" Nathan asked wide eyed.

"She was on a field trip—"

"Shit—Did she see you?"

"Yes, and I may have scared her a little bit, but…I felt it. I felt how close we were. I was like a mother to her, wasn't I?"

Nathan pulled out his vibrating cell phone. He took a few steps away and took the call. When he came back, it was clear he had a pressing matter to attend to.

"You have to go," Haley said quietly. If she had to guess, it had something to with his daughter. He just had the look of a worried father. Haley bit her lip as wondered if she had something to with it. Was she that screwed up? Just the sight of her, could cause problems for young children?

Nathan put his hands around her, resting them on her waist. "How do you feel about coming by tonight? Maybe after dinner?"

"So I can see her?"

"I think she would like that. She has all these books…Maybe you can read her a story…or better yet, she would probably want to read one to you. She has half of them memorized."

"I'd like that."

* * *

><p>Haley was a nervous wreck as she stood on Nathan's door step. She rang the bell and waited for him to answer. She took a casual glance over to the flowerbeds. She became annoyed that the rose bushes hadn't been pruned.<p>

When Nathan opened the door, Haley saw that he was nervous as well. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and stepped aside for her come in. Once inside, Haley knew for sure that she had been inside the house before…even more than that, she had spent a great deal of time there. She knew its layout and could picture the kitchen in her mind. Haley looked up the stairs and saw the little girl peering out from the banister railings.

Nathan went and stood at the bottom of the stairs. "She's been excited all night, I swear," he explained to Haley. He looked up at the girl. "Come on, honey."

The little girl slowly stood up and took her time coming down the stairs, focusing on each step. As soon as she looked into Haley's eyes, she made a beeline for her and wrapped herself around Haley's legs.

"Whoa," Haley said struck the severity with which the little girl was hugging her legs.

Nathan came over and patted the top of the girl's head. "Sweetie, remember what we talked about? Give her a break."

The little girl pulled away and looked up at Haley with her watery blue eyes. Haley scooped the girl into her arms and hugged her tight. The little girl wrapped her arms around Haley's shoulders and began to cry. Haley's heart clenched. These arms, just like Nathan's, made her feel at home. Nathan was struggling with the scene as well as he watched.

Haley ran her fingers through the girl's hair. "I missed you so much."

"I-I-I missed you. Please don't leave again."

Haley met Nathan's eyes and gave him a quick nod letting him know she was okay. She wanted nothing more than to comfort this girl. "Mommy loves you so much. So very much." Haley walked with the girl clung around her. Once the girl stopped crying, Haley took a seat with her on the couch.

The girl finally let go and took a few deep breaths as she examined Haley. She let out a large breath that traveled upwards to a few wisps of her bangs. Haley chuckled as she ran her fingers through the girl's bangs.

"Can you fix my bangs?" The girl asked seriously.

Haley nodded. "Daddy never could cut them right, could he?" She again rang her fingers along the bottom. "Mommy will make this right for you."

The girl looked over and gave Nathan a triumphant smile. "I told you, Daddy! I told you Mommy would remember me."

Haley's heart skipped a beat as she processed the little girl's words. She looked at Nathan with panic in her eyes. Nathan returned her look and just mouthed the word "please." Haley understood what he meant. Whatever was going on with her, this girl's needs came first. Haley just had to go along with what was happening, even if she didn't understand it.

"What's your name?" Haley finally garnered the courage to ask.

"Lydia. Daddy said you might forget, but that's okay. I don't mind."

"My mom's name was Lydia."

Lydia nodded. "Grandma is in heaven with Grandpa."

Haley shot Nathan a pleading look. This time he sprang into action.

"Lydia, sweetie, I need you to do something important for me."

Lydia left Haley's lap and went over to her father.

Nathan leaned down to speak to her. "I want you to go up to your room and pick out your favorite book. But first, I want you to go through every one of them just to make sure you get the right one."

"But I know which one is my favorite!" Lydia protested.

"Lydia," Nathan said sternly. "I told you want I need you to do. You need to be real careful and look at every one of them because this just needs to be just right."

"Okay," Lydia reluctantly agreed. She flew up the stairs, leaving Nathan and Haley alone.

"That'll take her a while," Nathan explained.

"No kidding. She has enough books to fill a library," Haley said. She bit her lip as she thought about what she said.

Nathan pushed a plastic set of key rings to the side, and took a seat next to Haley on the couch. "Is this too much?"

"No…but I don't know what I'm saying and my mind is racing. I'm trying to figure it all out. That little girl, Lydia, thinks I'm her mother."

"What do you think?" Nathan asked.

"I don't know what to think. Maybe I was like a mother to her. Is that right?"

Nathan sighed. "What you feel?"

"I still feel like something is missing…I feel better, but I don't feel complete."

"I understand. What you're saying, Hales…it makes sense."

"But you won't tell me?"

"I'm afraid to. I don't want to overwhelm you."

Haley stood up and began to walk around the living room. She headed over to a set of shelves built in the wall that house some pictures. She narrowed in on a picture of a blonde hair blue-eyed newborn baby boy. She picked up the picture and stared at it. She felt Nathan behind her.

A blinding light flashed across Haley's eyes. She let herself experience the full vision as she fell back against Nathan's body. When it was over, she dropped the picture frame to the floor and twisted around in Nathan's arms.

"It was a car accident. I wasn't alone in the car." Haley racked her brain. Someone died in the accident. She went back to her vision. There had been no car seat and she was absolutely positive she had never seen that baby in her life. This only gave her a small amount of comfort. "Your wife…She was with me, wasn't she?"

"Haley, what do you remember?"

Haley began to panic. "She's dead, isn't she? That has to be it! No one could leave Lydia, you and this baby." Haley's thoughts traveled back to the picture that lay at her feet. Guilt swept through her body. He was there in that car; she just knew it. She let out a gut-wrenching scream. "No, no, no. Nathan, tell me that's not true!"

"What? Tell me, Haley."

"Where's your son? Where is he? Why isn't he here?"

Nathan grabbed her shoulders. "Calm down, Haley," he tersely instructed her.

"Is he here?" Haley yelled not heeding his orders.

"No—"

Haley stomped her foot. "Where is he? Where's my son? Tell me I didn't kill him. Tell me he's alive!"

"Please, Haley. Calm down. I'm begging you."

Haley now understood the source of the lingering hole in her heart…it came from that baby boy. It was the strongest feeling she had yet. Haley began to hyperventilate as this realization hit her at her core.

Nathan took her by the hand and let her into the kitchen. "You need a drink of water."

"No, I don't. I need you to be honest with me Nathan!" Her mind was spinning as she tried to piece together the timeline of events. The baby couldn't be hers; she hadn't even seen him. So he had to belong to Nathan's wife…and that meant his wife hadn't been gone that long. Had she taken off with his son? Is that what happened?

Nathan ignored her and headed towards the refrigerator. Haley grabbed his arm and turned him back towards her. She pressed up against him and put her hands behind his neck. "Tell me about your wife. Is she dead.?"

Nathan closed his eyes as he thought about this difficult question. "No," he said softly.

"Are you still in love with her?"

"Very much so."

"If she came back, would you take her back?"

"Haley,…"

"Tell me her name."

"Haley," he choked out.

Haley closed her eyes in frustration and nestled her head against his chest. "Tell me."

"Haley…It's you."

At that moment, Haley spoke what she knew in her heart to be true. "Nathan, I killed our son."

"Look at me, baby."

Haley picked up her head and when their eyes met, they both filled with tears. Unable to take the severity of the grief shared between them, Haley turned her head away. Without hesitation, she reached over and pressed down the tab on the built-in ice dispenser on the fridge. A single ice cube flew out and landed at their feet. They both looked down at it and then looked at each other.

"You fixed the ice maker," Haley said with a mixture of surprise and awe. Her tone quickly changed. "You finally fixed the damn thing," she said with sheer annoyance.

A small smile traced over Nathan's lips.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Feeling a Moment" (Feeder)<p>

AN: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am going to wait to update until after I get my next story going. The next update may not be until the weekend. Thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 4: "Feeling a Moment" (Feeder)

"When did you do that?" Haley pressed him as she moved her hand to her hip.

"I fixed it a few weeks ago." Nathan moved one his hands around Haley's back. "You see, I never really gave up, Haley. Not really. I knew you'd come back."

Haley gave him a perplexed look.

He pointed to the refrigerator. "You picked this out, baby. You wanted the water and ice dispenser and then a week after we got it, it broke. Then you started nagging me to fix it and I just kept putting it off. So every time you'd walk by, you'd push in that tab and glare at me to express your annoyance."

Haley nodded, remembering. It was all coming back to her. "But you still didn't fix it."

Nathan smiled guiltily. "It became a game. I just liked to get you going."

"That wasn't very nice," Haley pouted.

"We weren't always nice to each other."

"We fought a lot."

"But we always made up."

Haley reached up and ran her hand through his hair and then pulled him down to her. She gave herself over to him completely in a deep, passionate kiss. When she pulled away, she gave him a soft smile. "I remember…I'm your wife."

Nathan's eyes filled up with tears. "And I'm your husband."

"Yes…I don't remember everything, Nathan, but I know this is my home. This is where I belong,…here with you…and Lydia."

"Always and forever, Hales." Nathan began kissing Haley again until they were interrupted by a small voice at their feet.

"Daddy,…don't kiss Mommy like that," Lydia said with a disgusted look across her face.

Nathan and Haley shared a laugh.

"Why not?" Nathan asked his daughter.

"Because she doesn't like it," Lydia said assuredly. She held up her book. "Look, I got my favorite book. Can we read it?"

Haley took the book from Lydia's hands and read the title aloud. "_Where the Wild Things Are_. That's my favorite, too."

"I know, that's why I picked it," Lydia said proudly.

Haley's heart melted. She still didn't remember Lydia or this history together, but she knew this girl was her daughter, and that they needed each other. She took Lydia's hand and led her over to the couch. The snuggled up together and Haley opened up the book and began to read. She didn't make beyond the first page when she was overcome with tears. Everything was coming back to her, starting with the last time she read this book to Lydia. They had been cuddled up on Lydia's bed and Lydia had been more interested in rubbing Haley's pregnant belly than in listening to the story.

Now, Haley was sure she had been pregnant with that little boy, but she was equally as sure she hadn't seen him. Had she really blocked that out? She couldn't even remember giving birth to him, yet she when she tried to think about Lydia, those memories came vividly flying back. But now Haley knew she had Lydia, here in her present. She had to focus on her attention on her remaining child, at least for the moment. It was what Nathan had done and she was grateful for that, although she now understood the sadness that was always there in his eyes when he looked at her.

When Lydia saw how upset her mother was, she took over reading the story. Nathan was standing at the edge of the living room, on high alert, but mostly just taking this all in. It was a sight that warmed his heart and although he had imagined it many times in his head, nothing could compare to experiencing it firsthand.

When the story was finished, Nathan handed Haley a few tissues and picked his daughter up. "Time for bed."

Haley stood up. "Can I put her down?"

Lydia jiggled around excitedly. "Yes, I want Mommy!"

"I may need a little help," Haley said taking her daughter from Nathan.

"Lydia is a good helper," Nathan said.

They all headed up the stairs with Haley taking the lead.

"Is that right?" Haley asked. "Were you Daddy's little helper while I was away?"

"I was. I even helped with—"

"Lydia, why don't you tell Mommy about what we need to do," Nathan suggested.

They reached Lydia's room and Haley set her daughter down. She looked around and it all came back to her. She remembered decorating this room, picking out the furniture and watching Nathan and Lucas trying to put together the crib that had long since been removed. She remembered where it had been moved to…it was just down the hall in the empty blue nursery with the basketball border. Haley forced herself to redirect her attention to Lydia.

"First, I put on my pajamas and then I get into bed and we pick out two stories. I pick one and you pick one. Then, you come into bed with me and we read them."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Nathan asked.

"I have to brush my teeth and wash my face," Lydia muttered.

"Okay," Haley said looking around. "Pajamas. I know where they are." She headed over to Lydia's dressed and pulled open the top drawer.

Lydia appeared at her side. "I want the Nemo ones."

"She's a little bossy," Nathan laughed. "Just like her mother."

"Hey!" Haley said defensively putting her hand on her hip. Nathan just smiled back at her. Haley rolled her eyes and began to search the drawer for the Nemo pajamas. "I can't seem to find them. Are they dirty?"

"No, I just washed them. Check the next drawer."

Haley shut the top drawer and pulled opened the one below. She found the pajamas sitting right on the top.

Lydia put her hand her hip and faced Nathan. She gave him a serious pout. "Daddy, you put them in the wrong place; _again_. They go in the top drawer."

Both Haley and Nathan tried to stifle their laughter.

"She also knows a lot…About everything," Nathan emphasized. He moved to his knees and began making his way towards Lydia. Lydia ran over to Haley and began cowering by her mother's legs. A second later, Nathan grabbed her, tossed her on the floor and began tickling her. "Don't you? You know everything and you're always right," Nathan said as Lydia laughed wildly. "You may look like me, but are just like your mommy. You even have all the same ticklish spots."

Haley watched this exchange fondly. She could see just how close they were and felt eternally grateful that Lydia had him to take care of her in her absence.

When Lydia was gasping for air, Nathan stopped tickling her and let her regain her breath. When she did, Lydia tried to make an attack on Nathan, but he quickly turned the situation around as he eyed Haley.

"Lydia, did you hear what I said? Mommy is ticklish, just like you!"

Nathan picked up Lydia and headed towards Haley. A minute later, the three of them were all on the ground laughing, but more importantly, reconnecting as the tight-knit family they had once been.

* * *

><p>Haley gave her daughter one final kiss goodnight. "I love you so much."<p>

Lydia looked at her father. "Are you sleeping with me, Daddy?"

"I'm not sure. We'll see, okay?"

"I can sleep with you," Haley offered.

Lydia looked down and shook her head.

Haley understood that this was more than just Lydia's closeness with Nathan coming out. There was something about her that made Lydia uneasy.

"Daddy, if you don't sleep with me, will you sleep in your bed?"

"Yes." Nathan looked at Haley to explain. "I haven't been able to sleep there with you gone."

"Daddy missed you," Lydia added.

"Haley, can I have minute?" Nathan asked.

"Sure." Haley left the room so they could speak privately. She walked over to second room over and stood at the doorway. She closed her eyes and summoned her inner strength. She opened the door and turned on the light.

The room was slightly messy. It was as if Nathan hadn't touched it since the baby had last been there. There was a blanket tossed over the side of the crib, clothes at the foot of the changing table and a few toys strewn out across the floor. Haley stepped over the toys and picked up the blanket from the crib. She brought it to her face and smelled it. It still had his scent. Tears filled her eyes as she realized this was the closest she was ever going to get to him. She kept the blanket firmly in her hands and went over to the dresser. On the top there stood a single picture. The baby, so very tiny, was lying on her chest. They both looked peacefully asleep. Haley looked a little closer and saw it looked like she was in the hospital. Sensing his presence, Haley turned around to find a very pale-faced Nathan behind her.

Haley pointed to the picture. "When was this taken?"

"Let's go sit down." Haley looked at Nathan but didn't move. "Please. I'll tell you everything. I just want you safe. I actually want you to lie down."

"But—"

"Please," Nathan repeated.

Haley relented and followed him into their bedroom. It looked just as she remembered. It was very neat and the bed was made; it was clear he didn't spent much time in there.

They both lied down on the bed on their sides, facing each other. Haley kept the soft blanket in her hands.

"Why is Lydia so scared of me?"

"She saw you take some seizures in the hospital," Nathan explained. "They were the first ones and we were all caught off-guard; even the nurses and doctors. They were pretty violent and just wouldn't stop. That's when they had to sedate you."

Haley felt a lump forming in her throat as she pictured her daughter seeing that. "She saw that?"

"I got her out of there as fast as I could, but…yeah."

"That's why you didn't want her to see me."

"I was also worried about you."

Haley began to softly cry. "I know," she choked out, "that our son…died. I feel it. That's the reason for that hole in my heart." She buried her face in the blanket.

"Haley," Nathan said comfortingly. "Look at me."

"I…I…I…" Haley began to hyperventilate, "I just can't picture him. All I can see are those pictures. I can see Lydia. I remember her. I remember her at Christmas, Halloween, her birthdays; every single one of them! But I can't remember him! Why?"

"Because you never saw him. And that hole…it's because he was taken from you before you were ready and trust me, he feels that too."

"I don't understand."

"You were only twenty eight weeks along when you got in the car accident and it was a miracle either of you survived. The car plowed into your driver's side door and your head went through the door window." Nathan closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them. "But the air bag…that hurt the baby. They had to do a c-section."

"I'm so sorry," Haley cried.

Nathan put his hand on the side of her head and began to thumb her cheek. "No, no, baby. You were so strong. You fought to stay alive for him. You did everything you were supposed to."

"But he still died."

"No."

Haley took a few deep breaths. Then it hit her. "No?"

"No. He made it through…He's a fighter, just like his mom…and he even looks like you too."

Haley sat up and Nathan followed suit. She closed her eyes and knew Nathan was hovering over her, but he didn't need to. Her chest was heaving heavily, but it was because the flurry of emotions inside of her that were about to burst. Haley opened her eyes and grabbed at Nathan's shirt as she prepared to let her emotions free. "My son…He's…alive?"

"He's at Lucas and Peyton's. I didn't want it to be too much—"

Haley let out a scream as her hand flew to her mouth. Once she regained her breath, began to sob vehemently. Her body began to convulse, but only due to pure joy and relief. She collapsed into Nathan's arms and cried all the tears she had in her. When she was finished, she pulled away and saw that Nathan hadn't let go of his emotions. He was staying strong for her. She was amazed and comforted by his strength. She tried to speak but had difficult because she was still hyperventilating. "I….I…I want…I want…I want to—"

Nathan read her thoughts. "Tomorrow. He's sleeping right now, or at least I hope he is. He's had a rough week, too."

"W-Why?"

"He needs you, Hales; just like you need him."

"He doesn't even know me."

"Oh, but he does," Nathan said with a slight nod. "As soon as we could bring him out of Neo-Intensive Care Unit, we brought him into you. The nurses let him stay there as long as they could for visits. We would take him and lay him on your chest, just like in that picture and he would settle right down. Then, I brought him to see you up at St. Mary's and did the same thing." Nathan gave her a guilty look. "Except the day you came here. I didn't go to see you that day."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. They day before, you were kind of awake and you kept yelling at me to leave…I was just so tired and upset…and Lydia just wanted to be home. She didn't want to Lucas and Peyton's—"

"Nathan, it's okay. I think that's what brought me here—home."

"I feel like I let you down.—"

"You kept our family together—" Haley's hand flew to her forehead as she had a sudden thought. She had been so focused on remembering things about her, she hadn't thought about him. "Basketball! You should be playing!"

"It's not a big deal. Our family was more important. It took something like this for me to realize that."

"The N.B.A. was your dream, Nathan. You didn't give it up, did you? They let you take a leave, right? You can go back…"

Nathan shook his head. "They don't let you do that. I got one year in; that's all I needed."

"But—"

"Haley, you put your career on hold a long time ago for our family. It was time I did the same."

"But 'on hold,' Nathan. I can go back to music; you can't just walk back into basketball."

"I don't want that life anymore. I was on the road way too much. I missed so much. I can see that now with all the time I spent with the kids these last few months. I took everything for granted and that includes you. I had no idea how much you did for us. If I had been home, you wouldn't have even been in that car driving yourself—"

Haley's mind was still racing as she processed everything. "Who died, Nathan? Was it the person I hit?"

"He hit you. He was drunk and he tried to leave the scene. It was on the bridge and he was so out of it, he went in reverse and went right off. He drowned."

"What was his name?"

"Ian Kellerman. His father is pretty shaken up by it. He keeps in touch and asks about you all of the time."

"It's all just so horrible." Again, Haley was hit with another desperate need for information. Everything was finally processing through for her. She beamed at Nathan. "What's his name? Our son? What did you name him?"

"James Lucas Scott," Nathan said proudly. Haley tried to contain her emotions. "We call him Jamie. Lydia started that. I swear, she thinks he's her baby."

Haley lay back down on the bed and brought the blanket to her face. "Jamie," she said in awe. "Tell me about him."

"He was in the NICU for six weeks. We have to keep an eye on him, but the doctor's say he's doing well. His development is a little delayed, which is normal for a preemie, but his weight is in the twenty-third percentile and his height in the thirtieth."

"That's why he looked so small in the picture."

"He's just over four months but he's catching up. He definitely recognizes and responds to us. Oh, and watch your hair, because he'll grab it…"

* * *

><p>Nathan rolled over in bed and smiled at the sight before him. Haley was wide-awake. Lydia lying on top of her with her arms wrapped around her mother. Haley looked serenely happy as she stroked her daughter's hair.<p>

Haley met Nathan's eyes and smiled. "She came in during the night," she whispered.

Nathan reached over and kissed his daughter's head and then gave Haley a kiss on the cheek. "She missed you."

With that Lydia began to stir. She popped her head and giggled when she saw Haley. "Mommy."

"Hey, what about me? You already forget about your old man?" Nathan kidded her.

Lydia looked over at him. "You're not old, Daddy."

Nathan held out his arms and Lydia crawled over to him. "How's my baby girl?"

"I'm not a baby!" Lydia strongly asserted. "Jamie's the baby. Is he coming home?"

"Very soon," Nathan told her.

"He's not going to cry anymore now that Mommy's home."

"Oh, I don't know about that, Lydia. He's a baby and all babies cry."

"He won't!"

"Because you said?" Nathan teased her.

"I don't know how to take care of a baby," Haley blurted out. She quickly began to panic. "I remember, but…I don't know….I don't know if—"

"You do," Nathan comforted her. Sensing her mother was upset, Lydia moved back towards her. Both Nathan and Haley turned on their sides and Lydia snuggled between them facing her mother. "But I'll take the lead and you can be my back up."

"How about you, Lydia? You think you can help me too?" Haley asked. Lydia nodded and smiled. "Can you help me with something else too?" Lydia nodded again, basking in all the attention. "I want help remembering some things. Tell me something really special we did together."

Lydia thought for a moment and then a wide-smile spread across her face. "When you painted my toenails and I painted yours."

Haley laughed. Once Lydia said it, she remembered. Lydia had put more nail polish on her skin than her actual toenails. "That was for Christmas. We used that red glitter color."

"Can we do it again? Please, please, Mommy. I still have it."

"How about later today?"

"I want to do it now!"

"How about…" Haley was trying to both distract her daughter and test her memory. "…Tell me about a time I got really mad."

Lydia sighed and then her eyes lit up. "When Daddy forgot to get you Ho Ho's."

Both Haley and Nathan laughed. "You were pregnant," Nathan said.

"I remember."

Nathan began to get out of bed. "Then you remember, I went back and got them."

"Daddy, where are you going?" Lydia asked nervously.

"I'm going to get going so we're ready when Jamie comes." He saw the trace of fear in his daughter's eyes. "You want to help me make breakfast?"

Lydia quickly climbed over Haley and got out of bed. It was clear she still was afraid to be alone with Haley.

Once Lydia was gone, Nathan stood in the doorway and gave Haley a reassuring look. "She just needs a little time…"

"I know," Haley said with understanding. She began to get out of bed herself and summoned an upbeat attitude. "I'm going to get ready to meet my son!"

* * *

><p>Haley was filled with nervous excitement as Lydia announced the arrival of Lucas and Peyton. She hung back and let Lydia and Nathan greet them at the door. Sawyer came in first and the two girls sprinted off to Lydia's room to play. Next was Peyton, who was holding Jamie, followed by Lucas. Haley watched as Nathan took off Jamie's coat and took him from Peyton's arms. Jamie looked around the room, sucking on his hand. Haley could barely keep her gaze on him as she was overcome with emotion.<p>

As Nathan approached her, Haley met her son's blue eyes. She automatically reached out her arms and took him from Nathan. With tears rolling down her cheek, she pressed his face to hers and then began to lay kisses on his cheek. She pressed him close to her and began to jostle him in her arms. "Oh, my son. Jamie, it's your mommy. I'm here."

When Jamie began to fidget, she pulled him away from her and looked at him closely. Their eyes met again, Jamie gurgled and Haley's heart felt like could burst from love and joy. She quickly put him back to her chest and he rested his head by her shoulder. She rubbed his nearly bald head and continued to lightly bounce him as she walked around and cooed to him.

When she finally remembered there were other people in the room, Haley looked around. Lucas had his arm around Peyton, who was sniffling as she buried her face on his shoulder. Lucas was watching her with a slight smile and sparkling eyes. Closest to her was Nathan. He was leaning back against the wall, looking as if he was trying to keep his composure. He had his fingers by his mouth and his eyes were brimming with tears.

Looking at all of them made Haley more emotional. Her son continued to keep his head rested against her, but Haley was nervous he would pick up on her nerves and racing heart. She looked apprehensively at Nathan. "Can I bring him upstairs?"

"Y-yeah," Nathan's voice cracked.

Haley headed towards the stairs, but stopped by Lucas and Peyton. "Thank you," she said emotionally.

Peyton reached over and patted Jamie's head. "He's with his mommy," she whimpered.

Haley knew she had to leave. She needed to calm down and she wanted some time with her son. She nodded at Peyton and Lucas and headed up the stairs. Once at the top, she looked behind her and was surprised that Nathan wasn't following her. Peyton and Lucas were heading towards him. She knew he was about to breakdown. Haley let them comfort him and continued down the hallway only stopping to glance in Lydia's room. The girls were spread out on the floor playing with some toys. She hesitated bring Jamie into his own room, but Haley really felt the needed to lie down; this taking an emotional toll on her, even if it was for the best possible reason. She wanted to put Jamie on her chest just like in that picture. She hoped that would calm her down.

Once in her bedroom, she lied down and put Jamie on top of her. It was exactly as Nathan described. Jamie's body relaxed against hers. Haley began to rub his back and gently talk to him. He stayed snuggled against her body, sucking on his hand. After a short while, Haley wasn't sure if he was awake or not, but she didn't want to move either. She just continued talking, letting him know how much she loved him, how sorry she was for what happened and how proud she was of him. It was appropriate that she had just moved on to another point when Nathan appeared in the doorway.

"…And you're so lucky to have your daddy. He's the best daddy, but I bet you already know that…" Haley smiled at Nathan when she noticed he was there.

"Don't let me stop you," Nathan lightly joked.

"Is he awake?"

"Oh, yeah. He's wide awake." Nathan took a seat on the edge of the bed. He reached over and brushed the few blonde wisps of hair on his son's head. He turned his attention to the doorway as he heard girl's voices approaching.

"But he's _my brother_!" Lydia stated with certainty.

"Nu-huh. He slept at my house the past two nights. He's _my brother_ now," Sawyer said with equal conviction.

A second later, Lydia flew into the room and hopped up on the bed. She crawled over to her mother and brother. She kissed Jamie's cheek and began patting his head. "How's my baby brother? Jamie, you're my brother, aren't you?" She looked over at Nathan. "Tell her, Daddy, that he's my brother."

Sawyer looked like she was about to cry. Nathan gestured for her to come closer to the bed. "He spent a lot of time at your house, huh?"

Sawyer nodded. Luckily, Lucas appeared at the doorway. "Hey, why don't you come downstairs with me?"

"But Daddy!—"

"Come on, little bug." Lucas gently led his daughter of out the bedroom. "Mommy wants to see you."

Lydia gave her parents a giant smirk. "See, I told you he wouldn't cry!"

"You are getting a little full of yourself," Nathan said..

"Nathan," Haley said while peaking at her son's face, "I think he's hungry."

Nathan looked at the clock. "Yup, you're right. It's time for a bottle." He got up from the bed and gave her a knowing smile. "I told you…"

Haley kissed the top of her son's head. Nathan was right. She had her mother's instinct. Nathan left the room, and Haley was surprised as Lydia stayed behind.

Lydia quickly began chatting, telling Haley about everything from preschool to her favorite tv shows. Most of it Haley already knew, but she let her daughter continue to talk anyway. She wasn't sure if Lydia even realized she was alone with her mother, but it didn't matter. This was a step in the right direction.

* * *

><p>When Nathan came out of the kitchen, carrying Jamie's bottle, he felt like he was intruding on a private conversation. He hung back, trying to wait for the right moment to interrupt.<p>

Peyton and Lucas were sitting next to each other on the couch speaking in hushed voices. Sawyer wasn't around and Nathan was left to assume she want back upstairs.

"I want another one," Peyton said quietly.

"You weren't saying that at 2. a.m…or 4 a.m. or even at 6 a.m.," Lucas reminded her. "Are you sure you're just not sad he isn't going to be around as much?"

"No. Don't you want another one? We always wanted two. Why not now?"

"Now is fine, Peyton, but I just want to be sure—"

Everyone looked up as Lydia's voice filled the air. "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy needs you!"

Nathan, Lucas, and Peyton sprinted into action. Peyton was the first to reach the bottom of the staircase. Lydia began running down the stairs, but Haley was hot on her heels clutching Jamie in her arms. As soon as she was close enough to Peyton, she thrust Jamie into her arms and continued past her, reaching the bottom of the stairs.

Once she was on solid ground, Haley collapsed onto the floor, just missing Lucas. Her body began seizing. Lucas leaned down, but by the time he turned her on her side, she had stopped. He pushed her flat on her back. Haley lied still, breathing heavily with her eyes closed as if in a deep sleep.

Nathan fell down beside Lucas and examined Haley. The brothers looked at each other and sighed heavily.

"It wasn't that bad," Nathan observed with a small sense of relief. He was used to seeing Haley's seizures and as odd as it may have sound, it didn't have the quite the same disturbing impact it once did. He knew what to expect and as long as Haley made it through the seizure without injuring herself or choking, her body would recover.

"No, it wasn't," Lucas agreed. "Not like the others."

"We still need to call—" Nathan stopped speaking when he heard the shrill scream coming from the top of the stairs.

"DADDY!" Lydia was clinging to the banister frantically, looking down at them, as Peyton tried to pull her away.

Nathan took a quick look at Lucas and then sprinted up the stairs, two at a time. Lydia let go of the banister and Nathan scooped her up. She wrapped her arms as tight as she could around her father's neck and squeezed him repeatedly. Silence filled the air for a few seconds and everyone braced themselves. It was the quiet right before a young child's violent cry.

A few seconds later, Lydia's ghastly screams pierced the air. "AHHHHHH! DADDY! DADDY! DADDY! AHHHHHH!"

Nathan held Lydia as tightly as he could. All along, this was his worst fear. Haley would eventually get better, he was sure of it. There were medicines to control the seizures and her memory was already coming back. The doctors had given her the prognosis of a full recovery once they figured out the medicine part, and they were so close. But this….the potential psychological damage to his young daughter…this is what broke his heart and he was afraid it would break Haley's as well. As Lucas called for an ambulance, and Peyton tended to Jamie with Sawyer, Nathan kept hold of Lydia and spoke soothingly to her, but it didn't seem to matter. Lydia continued to cry, maybe not as loud, but she still clung to her father with all of her strength.

Once the paramedics arrived, Nathan knew he had to make a decision. He could either stay with Lydia or leave with Haley. It was am impossible choice. In that moment, as he stood at the foot of the stairs, with Lydia's back to the action, watching as Haley was loaded onto the stretcher, he felt as if those moments of joy they shared as reunited family were fleeting and slipping away.

The paramedic looked up to Nathan. "Do you want to ride over with us?"

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Dare You to Move" (Switchfoot)<p>

AN: I am amazed, inspired and moved by your responses to this story. I wrote it on a whim, after having a snippet come to me when I was feverishly sick. I had also watched _A Little Princess_ for my job (long story) and had just downloaded Adele's album. The snippet was the father at the door with his young daughter and the mother ringing the bell to her own house. I figured if I swapped the birth order of Jamie and Lydia it could work as a Naley story.

I have no idea about the accuracy of the preemie stuff but I do know a lot about seizures. My dad started taking them when I was fifteen after suffering a severe stroke the left him brain damaged and unable to speak. I handled it okay, but my brother was just eleven and he didn't. After a while, medication controlled the seizures but they stared back up shortly before his death. At that point, they found an aneurism and stage four cancer, so who knows what was going on. We never had the chance to find out. In any case, this story is helping me work through some of that stuff, so I appreciate the fact that some of you are enjoying it at the same time.

I would love to hear your opinions about Nathan's dilemma at the end. I honestly don't know what he does. I have the next chapter written, but it has no reference to it. If you need closure, give me your input and I could work it in to that chapter or the epilogue….or I could leave it open to interpretation. I am particularly interested in hearing from those of you that have children…what is your perspective? Like I said it is an impossible decision, but it does happen.

Thanks again and I hope to hear from you. I am going to wrap up this story before I post chapter two of _Far Away_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 5: "Dare You to Move" (Switchfoot)

Haley woke up in bed with a wide smile on her face and joy in her heart. Nathan's head was resting by her shoulder and Lydia's head was under the covers resting on her stomach. Haley reached down and pattered her daughter's head and then turned and kissed her husband's head.

Nathan stirred, returned her smiled and kissed her cheek. "Morning, beautiful."

"Morning," Haley said giddily.

"It's a big day," Nathan grinned.

"It is," Haley agreed.

Nathan lifted up the covers, saw Lydia and chuckled. She was stretched out horizontally across her parents. He put the covers back down and looked seriously at Haley. "This is also the day this has to end."

Haley sighed. "I know you're right. It's just…this is the only time she's like this with me."

The past six months had been a long road with Lydia. In the month following Haley's seizure at the house, she had stuck to her father's side and barely acknowledged her mother. This had been tough on everyone. Lydia constantly wanted to know where her mother was, but she also didn't want to be near her. She also jumped at the slightest movements. But at night, things were a little easier. Lydia slept in Nathan and Haley's bed, and when she was asleep, she snuggled up to her mother. At times, the only thing getting Haley through those tortuous days was knowing that night would eventually fall and that she would get to feel her daughter's love and warmth as they snuggled together.

Little by little, things began to improve. First, Lydia started letting Haley read to her. Next, they began to do things together, always with Nathan in the same room. Eventually, he didn't always need to be the room, but he needed to be home. Now, Lydia was starting to be okay being left alone with her mother, although only for short periods of time. It was baby steps, but it was progress, nonetheless.

"But she has to learn, Hales. She'll get used to sleeping in her own bed." Nathan arched his brow at Haley and smirked. "Then we get to be _alone_…"

"You have to back me up, Nathan," Haley said sternly, not acknowledging his insinuation.

Nathan looked offended. "Of course, I will. This is my idea!"

"It's going to be tough and….she knows how to work you. Face it, Nathan; she has you wrapped around her little finger."

"I'll be fine," Nathan grumbled. His hand quickly flew under the covers as Lydia began kicking him. His hand clasped over one of her feet and she giggled. He pulled back the covers and leaned down and began tickling her feet. Lydia began laughing.

"Nathan!" Haley chided him. "See,…you're making this fun for her!"

Nathan rolled his eyes, not wanting to admit she was right. He pulled Lydia up in between them. "Lydia, did you remember that today is a big day for Mommy?"

"Yup! We get to throw her a party!" Lydia exclaimed.

Haley burst into laughter. She was pretty sure that was supposed to be a surprise.

Nathan closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them, both mother and daughter were smiling at him. He couldn't be mad. He should have known better than to trust a five-year old with a secret like that. "Okay, but why are we having a party?"

"Because Mommy's better," Lydia whispered.

"And?"

"She can drive!"

After being seizure-free for six months, Haley had been cleared to start driving again. This made her both grateful and anxious. Having to rely on someone to take you to every little place made her feel guilty and powerless. Yet, she hadn't been behind the wheel since her accident, so she was also nervous. Being Haley, she had a plan and just like with Lydia, it involved baby steps. Today, she was going to go somewhere close by, like to the mall or pharmacy, and then come right home. By the end of the week, she wanted to be able to go to two places in a row—maybe run couple of errands like a normal person. In a month's time, she hoped to be able to drive with her children in the car, starting with brining Lydia to school. At the moment, she couldn't imagine feeling comfortable doing that, but again, with baby steps, she knew it was possible.

Haley also knew baby steps weren't for everything. If Lydia was going to start sleeping in her own room, that was going to have to happen immediately. Haley watched _Supernanny_ enough to know that one. "Lydia," Haley said softly, "your father has something to tell you."

"Thanks, Mom," Nathan said sarcastically. Lydia curled up to him at looked up at him with her large bright blue eyes, making it even more difficult for him. "Well,….um,…..today is a big day for another reason too." Nathan hesitated, bracing himself for his daughter's inevitable reaction. "Today," he tried to say positively, "you get to sleep back in your own bed!"

Lydia's face fell. "But I don't want to."

"But this bed is Mommy and Daddy's and you have your own."

"But Mommy wants me here!" Lydia huffed.

Haley knew this would happen. Lydia was very sharp to make that point and as Nathan looked away, Haley could tell he was already caving. It was time for her to jump in. "Lydia, you're a big girl now, aren't you?—"

"Yeah!," Nathan piped in. "Jamie is a baby and he sleeps in his own room. You don't want to be a baby do you?"

Lydia's eyes welled up with tears and her lip began to quiver. Again, Nathan looked away and Lydia began to sob loudly.

Haley pulled her daughter to her side and began to wipe away her tears. "You are a big girl, Lydia, and you know what big girls get?"

"W-what?" Lydia cried.

"A bunny," Haley said with a smile.

Nathan quickly turned around and shot Haley a look of surprise.

As if a switch was turned, Lydia stopped crying and beamed. "A bunny! I get a bunny!"

"Only if you're a big girl," Haley said.

Nathan cleared his throat. "Yeah, you have to show us you're a big girl."

Lydia sat up and looked from one parent to the other excitedly. "I want one! I want one! I want one!"

"Are you a big girl?" Haley asked.

"I am! I'm not a baby. Can I get one today? Please, please, please?"

"Not today. You have to sleep in your own bed first and show us you're a big girl," Haley said carefully. "Right, Daddy?"

"That's right," Nathan confirmed.

Lydia crawled over Haley and got of bed. "I'm going to go get my _Goodnight Moon_ book."'

As soon as she gone, Nathan propped himself up on his elbow and looked at Haley. "A bunny? Where did that come from?"

"I had to act fast! Besides," Haley said with a glint in her eye, "you'll thank me later when we're finally _alone_."

Nathan immediately took Haley and his arms. "Later? What about now?" He seized Haley's lips in a fierce kiss.

"Mommy! Daddy! Stop it!" Lydia said as she got back up on the bed.

Nathan and Haley broke apart and Lydia squeezed in between them and opened up her book.

Nathan resigned himself to the fact that they were indeed getting a bunny.

* * *

><p>Haley pulled into her driveway and took a moment to congratulate herself before getting out of the car. She had done it. In fact, she had even spent longer at the mall than she planned. Knowing that there would be a house full of people upon her return, she didn't want to come back to early and ruin her "surprise party."<p>

Haley walked to her front door and very slowly used her key to open the door. She could hear Lydia's squeal.

"She's here! Go hide!"

Haley pushed open the door, waited a moment and stepped inside.

People jumped up from every corner of her living room. "SURPRISE!"

Haley threw her hands up, feigning shock. "Oh my!"

Lydia ran over and hugged her mother's legs. "Mommy, we surprised you!"

Haley bent down and gave her a hug and a kiss. "You sure did."

Haley let go of her daughter and Lydia happily bounced away. Around her were an assortment of family members, friends and neighbors. At the forefront were Lucas and Peyton. Peyton was was sporting a growing baby bump. Next to her were Brooke and Julian, who were each holding one of their twin boys.

Haley stood up and from across the room, she and Nathan locked eyes. For a moment, they gave each other just a hint of smile as they communicated mainly with their eyes. They shared feelings of gratitude, achievement, but most of all, love. As people began to hug Haley, Nathan hung back. Haley knew this was intentional on his part. Whereas he was usual the center of attention and the life of the party, he was letting Haley be center stage. But, Haley had other plans. She wanted him to know he should be congratulated for her successful recovery just as much as her. She tried to wave him over, but he stood in place and shook his head. He was just so stubborn. So instead, Haley just made sure to give him playful smiles as she hugged each person and looked over their shoulders at him. Eventually, he began to laugh, along with her.

When Haley was finally finished with greeting her guests, she went and picked up Jamie, who had been crawling all over the place. At nearly eleven months, considering his preemie status, he was thriving. He was almost on par with average development and was climbing his way up the baby growth percentile rankings. Much to her relief, he was also very attached to her. That helped relieve some of her guilt for what happened. Still, there was nothing that would make it completely go away. It was an accident, but in the end, she missed the first four months of her son's life, traumatized her daughter with her absence and seizures, and forced her husband to give up his dream to take care of their family. There didn't seem to be anything to change those cold, hard facts, yet Haley was always struggling to find a way to make amends.

As Haley headed towards Nathan with Jamie in her arms, she watched as Lydia ran over to him. His face lit up as soon as he saw his daughter. Then, as he spotted Haley and Jamie, his smile grew wider. His smile warmed her heart and gave her great joy. Haley knew that Nathan Scott was meant to be a father and she felt so lucky to have him as the father of _her_ children. In the end, their children were their greatest gifts to each other.

Once they were all together, Nathan picked up Lydia and the four of the pushed together in a family hug. They basked in the warmth and love they shared. Nathan and Haley savored the moment because they both knew that soon as their guests left and night began to fall, things were going to change. Bunny or no bunny, Lydia was going to give them a run for their money. But as long as Nathan and Haley put up a strong, united front, they had a chance. That was the way it had always been.

* * *

><p><em>3 Months Later<em>

Haley walked into the kitchen with a stack of empty bowls. She tiptoed over towards Nathan. "Did I ever tell you how sexy you are when you're washing dishes?"

Nathan gave her a quick glance and chuckled. He turned his attention back to the dishes. "And I thought you liked it when I worked out."

Haley joined him at his side. "Nope. I like it more when you do the dishes."

Nathan put his hand out. "In that case, give me those bowls."

As Haley gave him the bowls, they shared a slow, lingering kiss. After, they quietly took up a routine as Haley loaded the dishes he rinsed into the dishwasher.

"So can you explain to me why we had to throw Peyton a baby shower? Aren't you only supposed to have one for the first baby?" Nathan asked seriously.

"Well, there were five years in between,….and this one's a boy, so…."

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. "Hales, just say you wanted to throw her a party."

"It was the least I could do for her! She's done so much for us—"

"Haley, you have to stop this," Nathan said seriously as he shut off the running water.

Haley took the last dishes, loaded them into the dishwasher and closed it. "What?"

Nathan wiped his hands dry and handed her the towel. "Trying to make up for everything. First it was hosting the Baker twin's baptism, then Sawyer's birthday party, we've hosted every holiday—"

"We have this beautiful home…and I like to throw parties. What's wrong with that?"

"You're not fooling me. This is about what happened. Eventually, you have to let go of everything."

"I'm just thankful," Haley said softly as she put the towel down on the kitchen counter.

Nathan put his arms around her. "Me, too, but that's what family and friends are for. We're there for each other. When they need us, we'll be there for them too. In the meantime, I'm just looking forward to some quiet time with my family. I just want one weekend with just the four of us."

A small smile grew over Haley's face and Nathan noticed.

"What?" He asked.

Haley put her arms around his neck. "I have something to tell you."

As soon as Haley's hands moved around his neck, lust filled his body. Nathan grabbed her ass, causing her to jump. He swiftly moved his lips to her neck.

Haley cocked her head to the side as she got lost in the firing burning inside her. It had been this way for the past three months. They were like horny teenagers who couldn't get enough of each other. Even the slightest touch between them caused a heavy sexual tension to set in.

Things began to change when Lydia left their bed, even though the first week of that big change hadn't gone so well. As bedtime drew nearer, Lydia got cranky and then fought them on going to bed. Then, she cried herself to sleep. Later, during the night, she tried to sneak into their room. That first night, she must have tried about ten times. Each time, Haley was the one who had to take her back to her own bed. As the week progressed, she tried and less and less and by the next weekend, Haley and Nathan were so proud of their daughter, they got her the bunny. Chester had sealed the deal and it was then that the Scott's were able to relax when they went to bed at night.

Not having to worry about Lydia did wonders for Nathan and Haley's intimacy. They no longer felt compelled to try and take advantage of quick opportunities to be intimate. Nathan was usually the instigator of those types of things and Haley always tried to resist. She was permanently scarred by that time at Whitey's cabin when Lydia got up from her nap early and walked in on them. She didn't see much, but it left a lingering fear in Haley of getting caught. Still, Haley had an intense attraction for husband, and Nathan knew how to get her going. He always had the right things to say and used that to his full advantage.

Now, after three months of being able to enjoy their nights together, their flame had not only been rekindled but grew stronger. They still snuck off at times, even though there was no need to, and yet still looked forward to their nights. Haley suspected that this would continue especially with her flux of hormones that recently started to kick in. That thought snapped Haley back to her news.

"Nathan," Haley said pushing away from him. "I said, I have something to tell you."

Nathan swooped in and picked her up, putting his hand beneath her knees. "Is this something that can wait until will in the bedroom?"

Haley shook her head as she put her arms around his neck. Once they were in the bedroom, she would become lost in him. She wanted to do this while she still her wits about her. "Now."

Nathan nuzzled his head against hers. "What is it? Are you writing again? A new album? A tour?"

"I'm pregnant," Haley whispered.

Nathan's head jerked up and his entire body stiffened. He put Haley back on her feet and looked at her blinking hard. "What?"

"We're going to be a family of five—"

Nathan put his hands on her waist, as if trying to steady himself. "How did this happen?"

Haley gave him a slight smile and blushed. "Nathan, you don't need me to explain—"

"This wasn't supposed to happen!" Nathan snapped.

Startled, Haley tried to step back, but Nathan's grip was strong. She looked into his eyes and saw fear. She knew she could quell those fears. She put her hand to his cheek. "Don't worry. I stopped taking the medicine knowing it wouldn't be good—"

Nathan let go of her waist, turned around and walked away.

"Nathan, did you hear me? I wasn't on my meds when I got pregnant, so we don't need to worry. The baby will be fine."

Nathan flew back around and ran his hand through his hair. There was fury in his eyes. "YOU WENT OFF YOUR MEDS? ARE YOU CRAZY?" He yelled.

"I….I…I…" Haley struggled to explain herself. She hadn't expected this level of anger from him. She knew he would be upset, but she figured the news about the baby would trump everything.

"What? I need to hear you explain this. I want to hear how you could do something self-destructive like that!" Nathan walked over the kitchen sink but then turned back around. "That's why you haven't been driving the kids anymore! God, I thought you were just scared, but you knew! How could you do this and not tell me?"

Haley bit her lip as she tried to compose herself. "A month and a half ago, I thought I might be pregnant. As soon as I did, I stopped taking my medicine because I knew it wouldn't be good for the baby, but then I found out I was wrong. I wasn't pregnant. By then, I really wished I was, and I had gone a few weeks without taking the meds and I was fine so….I never went back on them."

"And your birth control pills, too?"

Haley gave him a guilty look.

"How could you do that? How could you make those decisions without me?" Nathan looked at Haley to answer him, but she didn't have any defense. "Dammit! After everything that we've been through, how could you? Do you have any idea what it was like to have you gone? Do you have any idea how hard it was to deal with Lydia, never mind Jamie—"

Things clicked for Haley. He was worried about her relapsing. Again, she was sure that she could calm him down. "The med's were just a precaution now. It was just to be on the safe side—"

"Yes! _The safe side_! That's where we want to be!"

"But I don't need them. I only needed them for six months and they extended it to a year because of that St. Mary's study. This was never supposed to be permanent."

"We had a plan, Haley. One year, then you get weaned off of them. Even then, there were no guarantees! And all under the doctor's supervision! You were in a clinical trial for God's sake! This was all experimental!"

Haley began to get annoyed. He was being completely unreasonable and he hadn't been focusing on the wrong things. Her good news was buried under all this pessimism. "Well, it's done," Haley stated simply. "So, can't we just focus on the fact that we're going to have another baby? Please, Nathan? Let's go up to the bedroom, let this all go and celebrate."

Nathan's face now showed disappointment. "You go up. I…need some time."

Haley began to take a step towards him, but he brushed past her and headed out of the kitchen. A minute later, she heard music coming from the workout room. Haley resigned herself to going up to bed alone. She hoped that he just needed some time to calm down and after letting out his aggression in a workout, he would feel better. The only problem was, he had just shut down on her and that was not his typical behavior. Usually, they just fought it out, to the point of yelling, screaming, sometimes even throwing things, but they always worked it out. The way he sulked off….that disappointment on his face, the anger in his voice; all of this was unsettling. As Haley went up to bed, she honestly wasn't sure if he would even come up to bed.

* * *

><p><em>2 Months Later<em>

Haley wasn't surprised to wake up to an empty bed, yet again. That had become the norm these days as a Cold War settled in the Scott household. From the slight dent in his pillow, she figured he had at least spent the night in the bed and probably just snuck out early. She reached over, picked up the pillow and brought it to her face. No matter how icy things were between them, she still missed her husband.

They had only shared one night of true intimacy in the past two months and that was when Nathan stumbled in drunk one night. In his inebriated state, he comforted her, told her how scared he was of losing her and how much he loved and needed her. It gave her hope, but the next day, he acted like it didn't even happen. And so, the stalemate continued…

Haley got out of bed, checked on Jamie, who was still asleep, and headed down to the kitchen. There she found Lydia and Nathan eating breakfast. Nathan quickly got up and cleared his plate.

Haley gave Lydia a kiss and took a seat at the table. Nathan placed a plate of pancakes in front of her. He hesitated for a moment, then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"How are you? You feeling okay?" Nathan asked in a gruff tone.

"I'm fine," Haley replied.

This was part of their new routine. Every morning it was the same thing. Nathan pretending to care about her, her pretending she noticed. Luckily, Lydia didn't seem to pick up on the underlying tension with her parents.

"Mommy, Sawyer's sleeping over tonight, right?" Lydia asked excitedly.

"Yup! I thought we could break out the sleeping bags, like Peyton did you with you once—"

"Tonight? That's tonight?" Nathan asked surprised.

"Yes," Haley answered, trying not show her irritation. "I told you. We're having dinner with Brooke and Julian and Peyton and Lucas are bringing the baby and Sawyer—"

"Can you change it?" Nathan glowered.

"No, Daddy! I want to have a sleepover!" Lydia pleaded.

"Don't worry, Lyd. Our plans aren't changing." Haley gave her husband an admonishing look. There was no need to upset Lydia like that. "And Brooke and Julian already have a sitter anyway."

"Whatever, I'll be fine," Nathan muttered.

Haley got up from the table and gave Nathan a pointed look. "Can we talk?" She walked out the back door and onto their porch. Nathan followed her.

Haley shivered and covered herself with her arms.

"Come on, Hales. It's cold out here," Nathan said with concern.

Haley closed her eyes fighting back tears. It was chilly, but it was nothing compared to that chill in her heart. What was wrong with him? Why wasn't he taking her in his arms and trying to warm her? As if reading her mind, Haley felt Nathan's arms around her as he pulled her to his chest and began rubbing her back. Haley stopped fighting her emotions and let the tears spill over. "I missed you so much."

"I'm here. I haven't gone anywhere," Nathan said, his voice cracking.

Haley felt even more emotional. He was dead wrong. Physically he had been there, but not emotionally. They never talked about the baby and the closest he'd come to acknowledging her pregnancy was his consistent inquiries about her health. But in this moment, he was letting his guard down, and Haley wanted to seize that opportunity. She pulled away and looked at Nathan in the eye. "I have my doctor's appointment in a week…next Thursday. I was hoping you could come. We might be able to find out the sex of the baby. Do you want to do that? Find out, I mean…"

Nathan looked away and Haley knew his wall was back up. He pulled away from her and walked over to the side of the porch. "Doesn't matter….Thursday? I can't make it."

"Why?" Haley asked, her voice quivering with frustration. "What else could you possibly have going on that's more important?"

Nathan turned to face her. "It's not like you checked with me when you made the appointment. If you really wanted me there, if you really wanted my input, you would have asked. But you didn't. Just like this dinner you planned tonight….Just like everything. You just do what you want, when you want."

"That's not true," Haley said with more tears threatening her. She hated how emotional she was, but her mind was no match for her pregnancy hormones.

"Whatever," Nathan said. He headed back to the door, but then stopped. "You shouldn't stay out here like this. It's not good for…you. But whatever. Like I said, it's not like you listen to me."

Nathan headed back into the house leaving Haley outside. A minute later, Lydia opened the door. "Mommy, Daddy said you need to come in."

Haley knew Nathan was right and she should go inside, but using Lydia like that? What was that all about? It wasn't a good sign and this Cold War they were going through had to end before it affected the children….including the one growing inside of her.

* * *

><p>Haley and Nathan were seated on opposite sides of the head of the dining room table. Brooke and Julian were next to each other on one side and Peyton and Lucas on the other. The girls were up in Lydia's room playing, Peyton and Lucas' son was sleeping, and dinner was winding down. Both Haley and Nathan believed they had been able to put on a good show, although it had taken an immense amount of effort on both their parts. When Nathan began preemptively cleaning up, that's when Haley lost her cool. Peyton hadn't even finished her dessert.<p>

Furious, Haley got up and went over and stood next to Nathan. Taken aback, Nathan put the plates down. Haley threw her arm around his waist. "Everyone, we have an announcement we'd like to make."

Nathan gave her a nasty look, but kept his mouth shut.

"Don't we?" Haley asked smugly. She knew she had him trapped. She gave him a squeeze. "Why don't you tell them?"

"No, I wouldn't dream of it," Nathan said dryly. "This is _your _news, Haley."

Haley ignored his dig. "We're pregnant!" She exclaimed.

Everyone stood up and took turns hugging Haley. Nathan stood back and simply accepted Lucas' handshake and Julian's high-five.

When everyone shuffled back to their seats, Lucas remained standing. He held up his wine glass. "I'll like to make a toast."

Everyone again stood up….except for Nathan. He was sulking in his seat, looking away.

"Nathan!" Haley chided him from across the table.

Nathan shot up. "Don't 'Nathan' me! Why don't you tell them what they should really know, huh? Tell them how you went off your meds!"

Haley's eyes widened with fury as she slammed her glass of water on the table. Everyone slowly sank down in their seats. "Oh, yeah? Why don't you tell them how horrible you've been to me ever since you found out I was pregnant!"

"I have not! I've been nothing but supportive!"

"You've got to be kidding!...Throwing a plate of food in front of me, walking away when I'm trying to talk to you, refusing to touch me, you won't even sleep next to me—"

"Enough!" Nathan screamed. "They don't need to hear all of this!" He looked around at the stunned faces before them. "You were all there. Tell her what it was like! Tell her how foolish she's being risking her life like this!"

"I'm not risking my life!" Haley shouted back. "I'm bringing a new life into this world!"

Nathan shook his head as if not believing her. "It doesn't matter. It's not worth it and you went behind by back and got pregnant—"

"Behind your back! Yeah, like this happened on its own!"

"You tricked me!"

Haley moved from her seat, walked to the middle of the table and pointed toward the entrance to the living room. "Get out! Get out right now! If you don't want this baby, then just leave."

Nathan didn't hesitate in walking towards the doorway. "Fine! It's not like I have anyone here backing me up."

Haley followed behind him. When Nathan tossed a glance over his shoulder, Haley pushed past him and headed for the stairs. All she wanted to do was lie down in her own bed. "Good! And don't come back!"

"I'll be back! I'll be back to get my kids!"

Haley stopped midway up the stairs and put her hand on her stomach. She was shaking with anger as tears streamed down her face. "Not this one! You've made it clear you have no desire for this child!"

Nathan walked out the door and Haley continued on to her bedroom.

Back at the dining room table and uncomfortable silence filled the air as everyone looked at each other.

"They were about due for a heavy fight," Lucas noted.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this," Julian said miserably.

"Oh, they always do this," Brooke tried to say convincingly. "But this time, Nate is being a huge jackass."

"And this isn't good for Haley…or the baby," Peyton pointed out. She looked at Lucas. "Go talk to him."

Lucas got up and looked at Julian. "Come on, buddy."

Julian shot Brooke a nervous look. "I shouldn't leave Brooke."

Brooke nudged him. "Go on. You've dealt with a drunken Nathan before."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Julian said seriously.

* * *

><p>Nathan barely looked up from his beer as Lucas took a seat on one side of him and Julian on the other. Great. He had even gone to a different bar from his usual one. Yet here was being double-teamed…well, if you counted Julian.<p>

"That was pretty bad, Nate," Lucas began. "You do realize this isn't good for her, right?"

"Yes, I realize that! Why do you think I'm so upset! You don't know everything, Lucas. She went behind my back and did this on purpose. She was only thinking of herself. She can be so selfish sometimes."

"Dude," Julian piped in, "Haley is not selfish." Both Lucas and Nathan looked at Julian with surprised expressions. "Well, it's true…It's not like she splurged on a new pair of shoes. She's pregnant with your baby. This is just as much for you as it is her."

"He's right," Lucas agreed. "Ever think about why she did that?"

"She wanted another baby," Nathan answered sullenly.

"It's more than that, don't you think?" Lucas pressed him. "You know her, Nate. She has this guilt in her about what happened. Don't you think she's trying to make up for that with this baby?"

"Like she's trying to prove to herself she can handle it," Julian added.

"Yeah, but it's also for him," Lucas said to Julian. He looked at Nathan. "You love being a father, Nathan, and Haley knows that. She wants to make you happy. She's doing this for you just as much as she is herself."

"But I don't want her to!" Nathan whimpered. "She's the most important thing to me; definitely more important than some baby I've never even met."

"That'll change," Lucas said confidently. "Just like it did with Lydia and Jamie, just like it did with me and Sawyer and Keith."

"And with me and Jude and Davis," Julian added.

"I know you're both right," Nathan said reluctantly, "but I just can't seem to get past the fact that she went behind my back. It's like she knew I would be against this."

"Okay, but seriously, Nate…If she did talk to you about it, and you did tell her how you felt, I have a feeling we'd still be sitting in this same place right now, because when Haley sets her mind to something, that's it. It's the reason why she made it through that accident. The reason why Jamie made it through. It's also the reason she and this baby are going to be just fine. That's reason we all love her, isn't it?"

"I love her so much," Nathan said slowly. "I just don't want to lose her."

"I could be wrong, but I don't think she's feeling that love right now," Julian said reaching over and taking Nathan's beer. He took a swig and set it back down in front of him. Nathan and Lucas gave him curious glances. "What?" Julian said defensively. He looked at Lucas. "Isn't this where he leaves and goes home to make things right with Haley?"

Nathan stood up, knowing it was that time. "Okay. Wish me luck."

"Oh, yeah, you're gonna need it. This isn't just going to blow over," Lucas warned him.

"I know. You're right. She's strong…She'll be fine….I'll make it up to her. It'll all work out."

Nathan left the bar and Julian gave Lucas a pleased look.

"Yeah, you did good. Next time, I think you can handle this on your own," Lucas told him. When Julian gave him an apprehensive look, Lucas laughed. "No worries. I was just kidding it. It took me years to get this routine down. It's fun when your brother marries your best friend, isn't it?"

"I don't envy you," Julian replied honestly. "Not one bit."

* * *

><p>When Nathan got home, he was surprised to find the house dark. After a quick look into Lydia's room, he figured the girls had shifted their sleepover to Peyton and Lucas'. He felt horrible, but couldn't blame anyone but himself. He braced himself as he entered Jamie's room. To his relief, Jamie was sound asleep, which meant Haley was there. Aware that he smelled like a barroom, he stopped in the bathroom, washed up and brushed his teeth. As he approached his bedroom, he heard Haley sniffling. He cursed himself for hurting her like this, especially when there was no need for it.<p>

Upon entering the bedroom, he walked around to his side of the bed. He peeled of his clothes and got into bed. Haley promptly turned on her side, her back facing him. Nathan sighed heavily. He deserved that. He had shut her out for the past couple of months. Still, their family couldn't afford for her to shut him out in return. They needed to come together and repair the damage before the baby came; _his baby._

He hadn't thought about it like that before. He blocked out the fact that there was a part of him, a product of the deep love he shared with Haley, growing inside of her. Of course he wanted this child and he would love it just as much as he did Lydia and Jamie. He had just let his fears about Haley's health consume him.

Lucas and Julian were also right about other things. This pregnancy was more than just having a child. It was Haley's chance at redemption. No matter how hard he worked with her on getting past that, nothing seemed to work. She had to do it herself and apparently this was what she needed to do, most likely from listening to what was in her heart.

Nathan slowly shifted over towards Haley. He put moved to put his arm around her waist.

As soon as Haley felt Nathan press up against her back, her eyes flew open. Fury filled her body. Here he was yet again, drunk, trying to put the moves on her! She picked up her arm, summoned all her pent up anger, disappointment and hurt and brought it back down, elbowing Nathan just as hard as she could.

"Awwwww," Nathan said flying back. She got him right in the ribs. "Fuck." He began rubbing the area, trying to get pain to subside. When it finally did, Nathan decided it was probably best not to push Haley any further tonight. She was strong alright, in more ways than one.

In the hours since he was gone, Haley had decided this was it. Her children were her priority, even if it meant her marriage was over, because this could not continue. She couldn't go one more day living life like this; not with the startling news she'd just learned at her last doctor's appointment. As it turned out, she found out that she was a bit farther along that she'd thought…which meant it was possible her seizure medications were still in her system when she conceived and since they were part of that clinical trial, no one was sure if that would affect a pregnancy. With that speculation, she had an amniocentesis. The results of that would be shared with her her next doctor's appointment; the one she'd asked Nathan to go to, but apparently he couldn't make it. She was on her own.

Nathan didn't know anything about the significance of this doctor's appointment, mainly because he expressed no interest in the baby. If Haley was being honest with herself, it was also because she didn't want to worry him unnecessarily. Plus, it was hard enough to get him on board to begin with. But today had proven just how bad things were between them.

Haley was humiliated at the scene from dinner and hated how Peyton, a mother of a newborn, had to take on a sleepover of two young, energetic girls. She was determined to get her act together so that wouldn't happen again. Haley also knew she needed peace of mind to deal with whatever news the doctor had for her. After all, this baby meant just as much to her as her other children.

"Tomorrow, you're moving out," Haley whispered. She half-hoped he would jump up and start arguing with her. The other half was grateful when he didn't. It was what was best for the children anyway.

Nathan pretended to be asleep as her words cut through him. He needed the night to get his game plan together, but he definitely wasn't moving out, just like he wasn't going to leave this bed. He was done shutting her out and ready to face their problems. He had faith they would make it and he would fight as hard as he could to make it up to her….and their _three_ children.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Listen to Your Heart (D.H.T.)<p>

AN: Thanks for all your support and advice. I am going to work that into the next chapter. Chapter 6 is the last one.

Thank you for reading! I hope to get the last chapter up this weekend!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and One Tree Hill Writers.

Chapter 6: "Listen to Your Heart" (D.H.T.)

Nathan flew down the stairs half-dressed with his hair still damp from the shower. Somehow, he overslept and on the worst day possible! Sure, it was Lucas' turn to drive Lily and Sawyer to kindergarten, but still, despite his trouble sleeping, he should have been up. He just hadn't expected Haley to leave this early. Then again, he wasn't sure of the exact time of her appointment. He caught up to Haley just as she was heading out the door with Jamie on her hip. "Haley! Haley, wait!"

"Dada!" Jamie said as soon as he spotted at his father.

Haley only stopped because of her son. He was already wiggling with excitement at the sight of Nathan. She knew it was because he hadn't seen his father yet this morning. She set him down on the floor and he toddled over to the bottom of the stairs, just as Nathan arrived.

Nathan picked him up. He was stunned when Haley simply continued out the door. Barefoot and clutching Jamie, he followed her outside. "Hales! Wait!"

Haley walked over to the car and opened up the door. Again, it was her son that gave her reason to pause.

"Mama!" Jamie cried.

Haley waited before getting in her car, as Nathan jetted over. She shook her head disappointedly. "This has got to stop, Nathan. The kids can't get upset like this."

"I know, that's why—"

"You have to leave. I mean it, this time. It's just too much…for me." Haley hesitated wanting to mention the baby, but decided against it. As far as she was concerned, this baby was hers. "And Lydia and Jamie."

"I'm not leaving."

Haley ignored him and gave her attention back to Jamie. "Hey, Jimmy-Jam. You be a good boy for Daddy, okay?" She gave him a kiss and was happy when he didn't reach out for her. It was just as well that he stayed home with Nathan since she was driving.

As if reading her mind, Nathan spoke up using the same indignant tone as before. "You're not driving."

"Watch me," Haley shot back. She got into the car and watched the panic on Nathan's face. As she pulled out of the driveway, she tried to suppress the guilt building inside of her.

She didn't plan on hurting Nathan like that and she certainly didn't get any enjoyment out of it, but she couldn't help it. He just got her so angry. Over the past week, he was all over her every move and he would not leave her alone. She tried to keep her distance, but he was clever. He knew their kids were what held them together. So, she didn't push it, especially since she was a nervous wreck about the doctor's appointment and the results of the amniocentesis. But once she got through that, she was going to put her foot down. He had to move out. She needed to learn to be on her own….and that included driving. The doctors had cleared her to drive, even without the medication, so now it was just nerves holding her back. This trip to the doctor's office would be her first time driving since she learned she was pregnant. She had set her mind to do it and that was it! It was what she had to do if she was going to be a successful, independent single-parent.

* * *

><p>Haley lied on the hospital bed in the patient's room of her obstetrician, trying to get comfortable. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, but it was no use. She secretly wished Nathan was here, but she knew that wasn't realistic. Once she saw he was sleeping in, she knew that wasn't likely. His sudden, persistent desire to know what was going on with her, it was just like before. It had nothing to do with this baby and that wasn't enough for her. Sure, he loved her, Lydia and Jamie, but Haley had to protect this baby from having a father that didn't want him or her.<p>

Haley opened up her eyes when she heard movement outside the door. A nurse held open the door…and Nathan walked inside. Haley's eyes widen with a mixture of surprise, relief…and disdain.

"Look who I found out the waiting room! Just in time!" The nurse exclaimed.

Nathan silently took the seat in the chair next to her.

"Okay, so," the nurse looked at the file folder in her hands, "it looks like first the doctor needs to go over the results of the amnio and then we'll set up for an ultrasound. Sound good?"

"Sure," Haley answered.

"One the last thing…do you think you'll want to know the sex of the baby? Just so I can tell the doctor…sometimes he slips up, so I like to let him know ahead of time," the nurse explained.

"I don't want—" Haley began.

"Yes, I think I'd like to know," Nathan interjected.

Haley glared at Nathan.

The nurse picked up on the tension between the two of them. "Um, okay, how about I just tell the doctor you're not sure?" The nurse turned to leave and then hesitated. "Sometimes we do tell one parent, as long as they promise to keep it secret. If you're the type of couple that can handle that, we can do that."

Haley braced herself as the nurse shut the door. She waited for a dig from Nathan about secrets between the two of them, but instead he just sat there silently.

After a minute he finally spoke. "When did you get an amnio?"

"A week and a half ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nathan asked quietly.

"You—"

"No, wait. I'm sorry. You don't need to answer that. I know why." Nathan looked at Haley, his blazing blue eyes full of remorse and regret. "I'm ashamed of how I've been acting. I haven't been there for you—"

"Don't you get it? It's not about me! It's about this baby; _my baby_. I don't even know why you're here. If it's just for me, you might as well leave because I don't need you, or at least I don't want to. I have to learn to be on my own—"

"Haley, please don't finish that. Please, don't. I'm begging you."

Haley looked away. "I can't take this, Nathan. I just can't."

"Then, don't. Let me back in. Let me be a part of this with you."

Haley turned back to Nathan with tears welling in her eyes. "I have to protect this baby. I don't want them to feel unwanted—"

"No, Haley. I want this. I was scared. I still am, but I'm ready. I want this baby. And you're wrong; it's my baby, too. This baby came from us; from our love—just like Lydia and Jamie and I'm going to love him or her just like I do them."

"But what," Haley's voice quivered, "if…there's something wrong." Haley stopped fighting the sob that had been stuck in her throat.

"There won't be," Nathan said confidently.

Haley wanted so badly to believe him, but she couldn't. "But, they think I'm over four months….so they're worried about the medicine. That's why they wanted to do the amnio."

"It'll be okay," Nathan said just as confidently. "Have faith."

They both looked up as the door handle began to move. Haley shot her hand towards Nathan. He held it tight.

Right away, the doctor saw the tears on Haley's cheeks and the paleness on both their faces. "Everything's okay," he said immediately.

"Ev-Everything?" Haley stammered.

"Everything. You are seventeen weeks along, but all the tests came back fine."

Haley sniffled and squeezed Nathan's hand. When she met his eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks as she saw his eyes filling up. _He really did want this baby_.

"We'll want to keep a close eye on things and I'd like to do another ultrasound; this time using one of our new 3D machines," the doctor said with a smile, "mainly just so I can see how the thing works, but other than that…we'll just keep your regular appointments. Oh, and what about the gender? The nurse said maybe?"

Haley looked at Nathan. His nod told her it was her decision. She made her decision…Before she wanted this to be a surprise, but now that she knew Nathan's heart was in the right place, she changed her mind. She had a feeling his desire to know the gender was a way for him to connect with the baby and that's what she wanted more than anything. "We'd like to know."

"It's a girl," the doctor announced.

Haley beamed and Nathan grinned. Then, Haley's hormones got the better of her. She began sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm hoping these are all happy tears?" The doctor asked nervously.

Unable to speak, Haley just nodded.

"Tell you what, I'm going to go get our ultrasound technician and ask her to set this up. Then, I'll come back in and take a look myself."

"Thank you," Nathan said. After the doctor left, Nathan got up from his chair and leaned down to Haley. He rested his head against hers and she put her arms around his back. "We're going to have a daughter."

"We are," Haley cried. It was _their baby_.

"I'm so sorry," Nathan said pulling away.

"Me too. I should have told you. We should have talked about things."

"Hales,…I get it now. I didn't before, maybe because I didn't want to, but…I know now that you were just listening to your heart; just like you should…and now we're going to have a daughter and she's going to be just like her mother. And I'm going to love her just as much."

Haley put her hand over her belly. "I already do. I love her so much." She reached over and took Nathan's hand and placed it on top of hers. "I want her to know you. I want her to feel you. Just like you used to do with Lydia and Jamie."

"I know," Nathan said guiltily. Whereas he had been constantly touching and talking to Haley's stomach while she was pregnant with their other children, other than the one time they made love, he hadn't paid any attention to it. He moved his hand under hers and began rubbing it. He began to smirk. "I'll even play her some of my good music."

"Don't you dare," Haley laughed. "She already likes my classical music."

"That's just because she doesn't know what good music is. She'll be a Daddy's Girl; you'll see!"

"I hope so," Haley said softly with great sincerity. Then, she began to cry again.

In effort to comfort and distract her, Nathan began planting gentle kisses up and down the side of her face. As he leaned over her and did the same thing with other side, Haley's smile returned. By this point, Nathan was hunched over her, resting one of his knees on the bed. He paused and looked down at Haley's stomach. He slowly shifted down and lifted up her shirt and rolled down the top of her sweatpants. He looked at the sight of her slight belly and smiled. Then, he leaned down and kissed it. "Hey, baby girl. It's your daddy here. Your mom and I—"

Nathan stopped when he saw Haley's stomach moving up and down and heard her sniffling. Yes, she was crying again. This time, he smiled.

They both looked over as the door opened.

"Hi! I hear you ready to see your daughter." She looked at Haley's bare belly. It looks like you're ready to go. Let's get started…"

* * *

><p>"Jamie," Haley said dismayed as she reached over and adjusted his sippy cup, "don't play with your juice. Hold it with two hands and drink it."<p>

The front door open and Jamie threw down his sippy cup and slid down off the couch. He toddled over to greet Lydia, Sawyer, and Lucas.

Haley stood up and went over and gave Lucas and the girls a hug. Lydia and Sawyer ran up the stairs to her bedroom. "You picked the girls up from school? I thought Nathan was doing that."

Jamie was tugging at his feet, so Lucas picked him up. "He called and asked me to. Is everything okay?"

Haley bit her lip. "I thought so. We had my doctor's appointment—thanks to you and Peyton for taking Jamie by the way—then I came home and took a nap. When I woke up, Nathan was gone, so I just assumed he was getting the girls."

"I was happy to hear he went to that appointment with you. He thought you weren't going to let him."

"Not let him? I didn't think he wanted to go. He told me he couldn't."

Jamie pointed towards the couch and the sippy cup that lay on the floor. Lucas went over and sat down on the couch.

Knowing what her son wanted, Haley picked up the cup, sat down on the couch and handed the cup to Jamie.

Jamie promptly brushed the cup away. "No!"

"Did you hear Jamie's new favorite word?" Haley asked rolling her eyes.

Lucas laughed. "Yeah, we heard a lot of that today….But listen, about Nathan; he's had a change of heart, Hales. I hope you see that."

"I do. It's just going to take some time…for both of us. At least he was always honest with me. I kept things from him I shouldn't have."

"You two have things to work out…but you will. You're Nathan and Haley; you've been solid since you were sixteen."

"I wouldn't exactly say that. We almost split up when I went on my music tour."

"Then you asked him to join you…"

"After you convinced me I should ask him…"

"Truthfully, then I had to convince him to go," Lucas said with a sly smile.

"Of course you did," Haley laughed. "I'm so happy my son has your middle name."

Jamie reached over and grabbed his cup. He put in his mouth, but held it with his teeth instead of his hands. When he saw he had his mother and uncle's attention, he began shaking his head and the sippy cup up and down.

"Yeah, that's my namesake." Lucas took the cup from his mouth. "J-Luke, you crack me up. Make your godfather proud. Hold your cup." Jamie took the cup in his hands and began drinking it properly. Lucas looked triumphantly at Haley. "See!"

"It's always easier with someone else's kids, but it doesn't matter. I packed up most of the bottles—for five months anyway. So, Jamie has to learn now."

Jamie threw his now empty cup on the floor. "Uh-oh," he said dramatically.

"James Lucas!" Haley said frustrated. "That's his second favorite new phrase."

"First time I heard that one….Five months?" Lucas asked. "You're that far along?"

"Seventeen weeks. Oh, Luke! They did this 3-D ultrasound and it was amazing! We could pretty much see what she looks like! Let me go get you the picture to show you."

Haley went in to the kitchen and looked on the refrigerator, but the picture wasn't there. She looked around a couple of other places and then went back to the refrigerator. She distinctly remembered putting it there under a magnet. She was beginning looking around some more when Lucas came in carrying Jamie. "I can't seem to find it."

"Well, I actually have to take off."

"No!" Jamie thrust his head toward Lucas.

"Whoa, take it easy, buddy," Lucas said.

"He just loves his Uncle Lucas," Haley smiled. "Jamie, show Uncle Lucas how much you love him."

"You don't need—" Lucas flinched as Jamie began clobbering him with a series of very wet, sloppy, open mouth kisses that landed all over the side of his face.

"Okay, Jamie. That's enough," Haley laughed. She handed Lucas a tissue so he could wipe off all of Jamie's slobber.

Jamie twisted around in Lucas' arms so he was hanging over his shoulder.

"You want to get down?" Lucas asked.

Jamie pushed himself back, met Lucas' eyes and grinned. Then he leaned forward so he was hanging over his shoulders again.

"I see. This is another one of your games. Where's Jamie?" Lucas kept hold of Jamie, pushing him even a little more over his shoulder and turned around the room. Jamie began laughing. "Hey, Hales, have you seen your son?"

"I don't know," Haley said slowly. "I think he's hiding on you."

As Jamie began to push up, Lucas pulled him back. Again, Jamie grinned and laughed. "There's the goofball!"

They did this a few more times, before Lucas finally put him down on the floor. "I gotta go. Daddy will be home soon and you can play with him."

"Ball!" Jamie pointed.

Lucas and Haley looked around the kitchen, but saw no evidence of a ball.

"That's a new word," Haley said proudly. "I bet Nathan taught him that. Now, we just have to teach him what it means."

"I have a feeling he'll learn." Lucas headed out of the kitchen, with Jamie toddling behind him. Haley stayed behind and looked around a few more times for the picture.

Lucas stood at the bottom of the stairs and called out for Sawyer to come down. When he turned around, he found Jamie at his feet, trying to hand him a book. "You just love to have attention, don't you? Did your dad teach you that or are you just already gearing up to be a middle child?"

They both turned in the direction of the door as they heard a car pulling in.

"I think that's your dad now."

Jamie pointed at the door. "Ball!"

Sawyer and Lydia came down the stairs just as Nathan came in. In one hand he was carrying a very large bag and in the other, a small bag and three red roses.

Lydia's eyes narrowed in the large bag and began trying to get a good look at it, but Nathan put it behind his back.

"Daddy! What did you get? Did you get me something?" Lydia asked bouncing up and down.

"Maybe…First, we need to sit down and talk, as a _family_. Why don't you go get your mom?"

Lydia sprinted off towards the kitchen.

"Ball!" Jamie pointed towards his father.

Lucas shook his head and laughed. "I hope you have a ball in there because that's your son's new favorite word."

Nathan set down his bags by the couch and the roses on the end table. He picked up Jamie and hugged him. "That's my boy!" Nathan turned to Lucas. "I had to teach him a new word besides no."

"Who are the roses for?" Sawyer asked.

"Auntie Haley and Lydia. I like to take care of my girls."

Lucas picked up one of the roses and set it back down. "Single roses, Nate? You really think she's going to swoon over these? You could have sprung for a little more."

"You're such an amateur, Luke. There's a time to go big and a time to go small. I know my wife and this is a time for a small, meaningful gesture. Later on, once I'm back in, I'll step it up. Now, why don't you take a cue and go and get some flowers for your wife and daughter?"

"Yeah, Daddy! You never got me flowers before. I want some!" Sawyer demanded.

"Thanks, Nate, for making me look like a jerk in front of my daughter."

"You started it," Nathan said unapologetically.

"You know, you wouldn't have a leg to stand on with Haley if it wasn't for me!"

"I know," Nathan admitted. Jamie began trying to launch himself over his father's shoulder just as he did earlier with Lucas. "What the heck is he doing?"

"He's playing a game. Thanks for naming the goofball after me," Lucas joked.

Nathan flipped Jamie all the way down his back, holding him by his feet. Jamie began laughing loudly. "That's why I did it."

"It's a good thing he's your only son.—"

Nathan eyes widen in surprise. He pulled Jamie back down from his shoulder. "She told you?"

"I don't think she mean to," Lucas tried to explain. "It just slipped out."

Haley and Lydia came in from the kitchen. "I just can't find it, Luke. I'll have to get another copy."

Lucas looked at the small bag on the couch and smiled at his brother. "Alright, Sawyer, let's get going. I think we have a couple of stops to make before we get home."

"Really? Where are we going, Daddy?"

"I can't let my baby brother show me up. Let's stop at the mall."

Sawyer and Lucas headed out.

Lydia looked like she was about to burst from excitement as she spotted the Toys R Us logo on the large bag.

"What's this?" Haley asked looking at the couch.

"Ball!" Jamie pointed.

"Let's sit down." Nathan pushed the bags aside and sat down on the couch with Jamie on his lap. Haley sat down next, but then Lydia squeezed in between her and Nathan.

Haley looked at Nathan and read his mind. "You want to tell them?"

He nodded. "But first I have something to say." He reached over and grabbed the roses. He looked from Lydia to Haley as he spoke. "I know I haven't been the best father lately, but want you to know how much I love you and how sorry I am. I promise to be better." He handed one rose to Lydia and two to Haley.

Haley's eyes filled up with tears. Lydia was confused as she looked at both of her parents.

Haley began speaking emotionally. "I love you, too and I'm sorry—"

"No, don't," Nathan said seriously. "This is about me being a father right now. We can talk later tonight about other things."

"But you've always been a good father, Nathan. Isn't that right, Lydia?"

"I love my daddy," Lydia beamed at her father.

"She doesn't even know how I put her in the middle. Jamie too." Nathan leaned down and reached in the large bag and pulled out a small basketball.

"Ball!" Jamie screamed.

"Did you tell him you were doing that?" Haley asked with a soft chuckle.

"I might have told him. He was a little upset when you left this morning and then I took him over to Lucas'. I felt bad."

"Oh, see, Nathan. It wasn't just you…it was me, too!" Haley said guiltily.

Nathan took the ball out of the packaging for Jamie. He set him on the floor and handed him the ball. Jamie began tossing the ball and chasing after it. "It was mostly me."

"Daddy, why does mommy get two roses?" Lydia asked. "Does that mean I get two presents too because I'm a girl?"

Nathan and Haley smiled as they both silently agreed that sometimes there daughter was a little too smart for her own good.

Haley picked up one of the roses. "Actually, I think this rose is for someone else."

"Who?" Lydia asked arching her brow up in the same manner as her father did at times.

"Jamie, come over here." Nathan got up and Jamie immediately took off running in the opposite direction. Nathan chased him down and took him over to the couch and sat back down. He looked at Haley.

"You tell them," she offered.

Nathan smiled. "Lydia, Jamie,…Mommy and Daddy decided we're going to have a baby."

Lydia's face lit up as she began hugging her mother. Haley was touched, both by her husband's choice of words and her daughter's excitement.

Nathan tried to explain this a little more to Jamie. "Like baby Keith. You saw him today at Aunt Peyton and Uncle Lucas' house."

"But I already have a baby brother," Lydia said with disappointment strewn across her face.

"Well, how about a baby sister?" Haley asked.

"Yes! Can I have a sister? Please, please? I promise I'll be good."

"You are already, good Lydia," Nathan said. "You're a great big sister to Jamie, so, yeah, I think we can make this happen." He looked at Haley. "What do you think, Mom?"

Haley put her hand over her stomach. "Yup, this is going to be a baby girl. I wish I could show you that picture."

Nathan picked up the small bag by his feet and handed it to Haley. "I think this is what you were looking for."

"Nathan, you didn't have to do all of this."

"I have three children now and I have some serious catching up to do with my youngest. I want her to know just how much I loved her before she was even born."

Haley felt a wave of love surge throughout her body. She rubbed her stomach, hoping her child could feel it too.

"Open it, Mommy!" Lydia urged her.

Haley pulled out the box from the bag. She carefully opened it and took out the sterling silver frame. On the top was the engraving "Our little girl." Inside was the image from the ultrasound.

"Is that the baby?" Lydia asked.

"It sure is. Can you see her?" As Haley began pointing out various features of the baby, Jamie crawled over to get a closer look. He watched and began pointing as well to his own head, eyes, ears and nose.

"That's right, James." Nathan pulled him back on his lap. "Now show me where Daddy is." Jamie pointed at him. "Now Mommy." Jamie pointed as his mother. "How about Lydia?" Jamie pointed at his sister.

"Can you say Lydia?" Lydia prodded him. "Lyd-i-a."

Jamie pointed at nowhere in particular. "Ball!"

"I swear he does that just to aggravate her," Nathan laughed. Ever since Jamie started saying Mama and Dada, Lydia had relentlessly begun trying to get him to say her name. Then, when he began to say a few other words, she got even more frustrated.

"Lydia, why don't you show Jamie where the baby is. Do you remember?"

Lydia looked at her mother's slight belly and pointed. "The baby's in there, right? Like Jamie was?"

"That's right—"

Lydia burst into tears and buried herself in her mother's chest.

"What? What is it?" Haley asked.

"She's afraid," Nathan explained.

"Oh," Haley said understanding. "Is that it, baby? Tell me what you're afraid of."

"The hospital," Lydia mumbled.

"It's not going to be like last time, Lydia. Look at me." Lydia met her mother's eyes. Her daughter's fears pulled at Haley's heartstrings. "I promise you, that when the baby is ready to come out, I'm going to go into the hospital, and then come right back home as soon as possible."

"I don't want you to stay there."

"I won't for long. I'm going to come back home with the baby right away; your baby sister."

"Lydia, I do have one more present for my special girl," Nathan said bringing the large bag up on the couch.

"You do?"

"It's because we need your help getting ready for the new baby. Jamie's never been a big brother before so I thought you could help him learn. Here, see what it is."

Lydia pulled out a realistic newborn baby girl doll. "Wow! She's smaller than my Jessie baby." She turned to Haley. "Can you open it?"

Haley opened the package and gave the doll to Lydia.

Jamie watched with great interest as Lydia cradled the baby in her arms and fed it a bottle. "You try," Lydia said. She handed Jamie the doll.

He flipped it up and squeezed it tight as if hugging it. He looked around for approval.

"Jamie, that's too tight!" Haley and Nathan tried to suppress their laughter as they watched Lydia try to get Jamie to cradle the baby. When he finally had the doll correctly in his arms, he looked at his parents, bent down and kissed the doll and then looked back up and grinned.

"Awwww," Haley said giving her son the praise he wanted.

Jamie smiled and threw the doll on the floor. "Uh-oh."

* * *

><p>After putting the children in bed, Haley was actually waiting up for Nathan to join her. For the first time in a while, she was genuinely looking forward to sleeping next to her husband. They still had a lot to talk about, but they had reached a new understanding. She was sure that would transfer into their sleeping patterns. She hadn't slept a good night sleep in months, and was sure the same was true for Nathan. Tonight would be different. She knew she didn't have to worry about him sneaking into bed after she was asleep and she wasn't going to give him the cold shoulder as she had done for the past week.<p>

Nathan came into the bedroom with a giant smirk. He held up the body of the doll he bought for Lydia in one hand and the head in his other hand. "Uh-oh."

Haley burst into laughter as he climbed into bed and handed her the pieces. "How on earth…"

"I found them in the living room. Now we know why Jamie was so quiet while we snuggled with Lyd."

Jamie was, as to be expected, oblivious to the idea of a new addition to the Scott family. It was different with Lydia, and also more complicated because of all of the trauma surrounding her brother's birth. So both parents tried to give her some extra attention and calm her fears. Clearly, they were also going to have their work cut out for them with Jamie, as well. He needed to learn how to be around a baby.

"We have to keep an eye on him," Haley said.

"We will. _We_," Nathan repeated. He looked for confirmation with Haley. "Right?"

"Right. We're a team."

Nathan moved as close to Haley as he could without invading her space. "I want to be more than a team; more than parents. I want us to be us again; husband and wife."

"I'd like that," Haley said confidently. "It's going to take some time—for both of us. I know you're still angry with me.—"

"No, I'm not," Nathan began to protest.

"Nathan, it's okay. I know you are. You can't just get over it that fast. As long as you understand it was me and not her," Haley rubbed her stomach.

"I don't want you to keep things from me; not anything-good or bad, especially when it comes to your health. I know it's your body and you're okay, now, but…." Nathan trailed off as his mind went back to that horrible time when he had been forced to make medical decisions for his wife.

"You had to take care of me," Haley finished for him. "And you did. I know it's going to take time for you to trust me again, but I trust you completely, especially after all you went through. I think I lost sight of that somewhere along the way. I'm sorry for that."

"I'll always take care of you, Hales."

"I don't want you to ever think I take you for granted, because I'm so grateful…" Haley trailed off as she fought back tears.

"I'm so grateful…especially for our new daughter." He eyed Haley's stomach. "Can I?"

"You don't need to ask, Nathan. I want you to have the same experiences you did with Lydia and Jamie. We're parents first and we'll figure out our own issues."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Nathan slid his hand under Haley's nightshirt and began rubbing her belly. Seconds later, he was planting kisses on it and talking. Once he was done, he and Haley did a little more talking and then settled in to get some much-needed sleep. At Haley's request, Nathan held Haley in his arms, giving her the warmth and security she'd been craving for the past few months. Both fell asleep quickly and dreamed of a happier time when they when they would get to meet the last member of their family.

* * *

><p><em>5 Months Later<em>

Haley cradled her newborn baby daughter in her arms and kissed the top of her head. "She's so beautiful."

"I told you she was going to be just like you," Nathan said from her side.

"It's funny. She looks like both Lydia and Jamie, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I can see that," Nathan agreed.

Haley moved the baby towards him. "Here, you want to hold her?"

"Yeah." Nathan gently took his daughter from Haley's arms. "Oh, how's my little girl?" The baby's eyes blinked and then opened wide. "See? That's it! There's my girl. You wanted to see your daddy, didn't you? He's a handsome guy, right? Who am I kidding? You can't see a thing!"

Haley smiled as she watched the exchange. It was just as she imagined. After that day at the doctor's office, Nathan never looked back. He fully committed to his daughter and in turn, it did wonders for his marriage…that, and a lot of talking, honesty, and forgiving, on both their ends.

But it was worth it, because as they huddled together around their daughter, several hours after her birth, they both felt the same thing in their hearts; that their family was complete.

Nathan gave Haley a crooked smile. "I have something for you."

"What?" Haley asked curiously.

"It's in that bag on the table."

Haley reached over and grabbed the bag. She pulled out a small jewelry box. Inside was a beautiful ring with four stones. One was her birthstone and the others were her children's. They were set in a gold band and surrounded by small bands of diamonds. Her eyes filled with tears. "It's a mother's ring."

Nathan gave her a proud smile. "Put it on."

Haley slid on the ring and held it up. "I love it. Thank you."

Nathan looked at his daughter. "It's nothing compared to what you've given me."

"It's what we've given each other," Haley softly corrected him.

"I guess you're right." Nathan felt the vibration from the phone stuffed in his pocket. "Oh, I think it's time to meet your brother and sister." He handed the baby back to Haley. He pulled out his phone and nodded after reading the text. "Yup. My mom's bringing them up."

"Oh and she's awake!" Haley happily cooed. "How about that? They're going to be so excited to see you."

A few minutes later, Haley shifted up so she was sitting up on the side of the bed, in anticipation of their arrival. They heard a knock at the door, followed by the door slowly opening.

"Hello, hello! Cue the crazy grandmother," Deb's voice rang out.

"Ha, ha," Lydia laughed. "Grandma's crazy!"

Nathan walked over to greet them. "Yeah, I bet. You make her crazy!"

"Daddy, you're crazy!" Lydia shot back.

Nathan took Jamie from Deb. "I guess we're all crazy then, huh? We can all be crazy together. Especially you and me, Jamie, since we're outnumbered now!"

Lydia crept over towards her mother. She looked relieved. "You're awake!"

"I am. Bet yet, I'll be home tomorrow!"

Lydia smiled broadly. "Mommy? Can I see?"

"You sure can. You can come up here," Haley pointed to the side of her.

"Just be careful," Nathan said sternly. "Mommy's a little sore."

"Baby!" Jamie shouted suddenly, causing everyone to laugh.

Lydia carefully climbed up beside Haley with a little help from her father. She got on her knees and leaned over and peered over at her sister. "What's her name?"

Haley couldn't help but look at Nathan proudly. He picked her first name and Haley picked the middle name. They had just waited to tell everyone. "Faith. Faith Natalie Scott."

Lydia looked at Haley, as if looking for permission to touch her.

"It's okay. Just be gentle."

Lydia stroked Faith's cheek with her finger. "She's so soft."

"And she's looking right at you," Haley pointed out.

"Hi, baby sister…Faith. It's Lydia. And Jamie's here. He's our brother…" Lydia looked over to Jamie who was twisting around in Nathan's arms.

Nathan leaned toward Haley with Jamie. "Hey, Jamie. Say hi to your sister."

"Baby!" Jamie pointed again.

Lydia met Jamie's eyes. "Gentle, Jamie." She began patting the receiving blanked Faith was swaddled in. "See, like this."

Jamie reached over and began mimicking Lydia. "Nice."

"That's right, bud," Nathan gently praised him. "Just like with Chester. You have to be gentle."

Just as Jamie was starting to lose interest, Deb appeared in front of them. "Okay, family picture time!" She exclaimed, holding up her camera. "Then, I plan on stealing her from you!"

"Grandma, you can't," Lydia said seriously. "She's ours. She belongs to us!"

Nathan and Haley shared a smile.

"Hey, Lydia, why don't you hold her for the picture?" Nathan asked.

"Can I? Can I? I'll be really careful," Lydia promised.

"I know you will." Nathan handed Jamie to his mother for a minute. "Push over. You can get on my lap." Lydia moved aside and he took a seat next Haley. Lydia climbed on his lap. Haley gently handed over Faith. Deb put Jamie on Haley's lap.

"Momma!" Jamie said happily. He hugged her tightly.

"Oh, boy, Jamie. Be gentle with Mommy, too," Haley said wincing slightly in pain.

"Jamie," Nathan said sternly, tapping his back.

Jamie began patting Haley's head. "Gentle."

Everyone laughed. Haley gave him a kiss. Loving the attention, Jamie began frantically kissing his mother. "Kisses."

"Okay, Jamie turn around, gently, and let Grandma get a picture," Haley instructed him.

Jamie turned around. He immediately leaned over and gave Lydia a kiss.

"Jamie!" Lydia said annoyed. "You have to look at Grandma."

Jamie looked at his grandmother, if only for a second. He then began leaning over and examining his sisters. "Lyddie and baby…"

Deb put her camera down and snatched him up. "Well, at least I got one good shot," she said gratefully.

* * *

><p>Haley twitched around in the hospital bed and was surprised when she felt some resistance from next to her. Nathan was lying on his side, next to her, but practically hanging off the bed. She tried to turn on her side to give him some more room. She moaned slightly as her body still felt uncomfortable and sore after giving birth. Still, it was a natural birth, and she was grateful for that. She had the same with Lydia and knew what to expect in the recovery.<p>

Nathan opened his eyes, reached out and gently began rubbing the top of her shoulder. "Hey. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I wasn't expecting you to be here. This can't be comfortable for you."

"I'm fine. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time I spent the night with you like this," Nathan reminded her.

Haley nodded as a lump formed in her throat. When she had her seizure at home, after taking care of the kids, Nathan relieved Lucas at the hospital and spent the night there with her. They had snuggled together in that uncomfortable hospital bed, comforting each other as best they could. Now, it was different though. Due to her condition, Haley couldn't exactly snuggle with him and she was much stronger emotionally than she had been then. "Really, you should go home. The kids will be looking for you."

"My mom has them and she wants them all to herself. Besides, I'll run home before they even get up anyway…Tonight, I want to be with my two girls."

"Lydia wouldn't appreciate that," Haley teased him.

"Lydia has had me all to herself for five years….She's going to have to learn to share…"

"Just like I did," Haley said dramatically.

"Me, too. But I love it," Nathan said happily. "I love all of it." He rested his head against hers. "I love you, Hales. You've given me so much. I need you to know how much you mean to me."

"I do." Haley pushed her head up so they could look at each other. "I love our life and our family…..but you,….you're it for me. And in the end, it's always going to be you and me."

"In at least eighteen years," Nathan joked, pointing towards a sleeping Faith, who in the hospital crib right next to the bed.

Haley kissed his cheek. "I love you, Nathan Scott."

"I love you, Haley James."

"Actually, it's Haley James Scott."

"Nathan, Haley, Lydia, Jamie and Faith. The Scotts. That's our family. It sounds just right."

"It does," Haley agreed. "Now, seriously, Nathan, you can't sleep like this. Let me turn around…"

* * *

><p>Nathan opened his eyes and began to panic. "Haley? Haley?"<p>

Haley picked her head up. "You're awake! I've been waiting for you to wake up!"

Nathan looked around the room. "Why are we here? Where's Faith?"

"Huh?"

"Faith. I need Faith."

"I have faith, Nathan. I do. This is all going to work out; you'll see."

"No, Haley," Nathan said growing frustrated, "Faith, our daughter."

"Oh…." Haley said nervously. "Faith….Okay. Anyone else?"

"What do you mean? Lydia? Jamie? They're with my mom."

"That's right," Haley said convincingly.

"Haley, what's going on?"

Haley's heart broke as she saw the fear in Nathan's eyes. Things were getting worse. She put her hand to his cheek. "It's okay. It's all going to be fine."

Out of the corner of her eye, Haley saw two figures hovering outside the door. "Nathan, why don't you get some rest?"

"Me? Haley—"

Not wanting to miss the visitors, Haley swiftly got of bed and scurried towards the door. She spotted Peyton and Lucas walking away.

"Lucas! Peyton! Come back!"

To her relief, Lucas and Peyton turned back around and walked towards her. As soon as she was close enough, Haley launched herself into Lucas' arms.

"Hey, what's going on?" Lucas asked rubbing her back.

"Why were you leaving?" Haley asked pulling away.

Lucas looked nervously at Peyton. "We saw you two together and didn't want to bother you," Lucas answered.

"How is he?" Peyton asked.

"He thinks we have another daughter—Faith," Haley said sadly.

Lucas' eyebrows shot up. "Faith? What happened to Lydia…and Jamie?"

"Oh, he thinks we have them too. He thinks we have three children."

"Oh, boy," Peyton sighed disappointedly. She put her hand on Haley's shoulder. "This must be tough on you."

"I'm fine. He's the one—"

"Ms. James!" A stern, high pitched voice rang out. Haley spun around and saw a heavy-set nurse with short curly hair heading towards her and she did not look happy. "Ms. James, is that you down there?"

"Yes, Nina, I was just—" Haley turned halfway around, only to find Peyton and Lucas were gone. "That's funny. Where did they go?"

"Who was it this time?" Nina asked.

"Peyton and Lucas."

"Oh, them again, huh? Well, it's time for you to go now."

"But, Nathan—"

"Un-uh. Don't you start that with me. You know how you already have us bending the rules for you."

Haley let Nina escort her down the hallway, through a double set of doors and down a flight of stairs. When they arrived at a room, Haley looked crossly at Nina.

Haley pointed to the name label on the door. "Nina, why does this say, Haley James? I'm Haley James Scott."

Nina tersely ripped off the piece of masking tape. "Because yesterday, you made me change it to James! I swear to God, you two are enough to drive me crazy!"

Nina stalked off leaving Haley standing there confused.

"I'm only here because of him! You know that, right?" Haley called after her.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, that's your story today!"

Haley went into her room more confused than ever. She took a seat on her bed and tried to calm her racing mind. A minute later, Nina returned. She placed a new label on her door with Haley James Scott written on it.

"Now, it's time for your meds." Nina approached her and handed her a cup of water and three pills. Haley dutifully swallowed them and then lied down in bed. Not long after, she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>Haley's eyes flew opened. To her relief, a sleeping baby Faith lied just in front of her, at the side of her bed in the hospital basinet. She also felt Nathan pressed up against her back. Then, there was the soreness in her body. She was actually relieved to feel that pain. She shifted slightly and let out a soft moan and Nathan moved back. He shifted his hand her to back and began rubbing her shoulder.<p>

"You okay, baby?" Nathan asked groggily.

"I had a bad dream. I just felt so real…"

"What happened?"

"We were both at St. Mary's and I think I lost my memory again…I don't really know. It was really strange and didn't make any sense. Peyton and Lucas were there, but then they weren't –"

Haley and Nathan sat up as Faith began to fuss. By the time Haley got up of bed and picked her up, she was starting to emit a high-pitched cry.

"Well, that ought to convince you this is real," Nathan grumbled as he got of bed. "It's time to feed her, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Haley agreed. She took a quick look at Nathan and smiled. "I'm so happy you're here."

"Me too. Let me go get the nurse. It's Nina, right?"

* * *

><p>Haley opened her eyes and was pleasantly surprised to find Nathan next to her in bed. As if sensing she was awake, Nathan opened his eyes. Haley reached up and felt his face, as is to make sure this was real. "I'm so happy you're here."<p>

"Me too. I'm not sure how long I can stay."

"I saw her, Nathan," Haley whispered in awe.

"Who?" Nathan asked furrowing his brow.

"Faith."

Nathan smiled. "You did?"

"She's so beautiful…"

Nathan ran his hand through her hair. "Just like her mother."

"I want her to be real, Nathan. I want that so badly."

"What do you feel, Hales? In your heart?" Nathan questioned her seriously. His blue eyes were sparkling. They caused butterflies in her stomach.

"My heart's full. I feel so much love. I love you so much and I just want to be with you."

"You are. We're together. Don't listen to what anyone else says. It's you and me here right now."

"But nothing is as it seems. What about Lydia, and Jamie,…and now Faith?"

"They're in our hearts. Just be with me right now, Hales, before they make me leave."

Haley looked at both their hospital identification bracelets. "Are we crazy, Nathan? Is that why we're here?"

"Haley,…" Nathan pleaded.

* * *

><p>A hot and sweaty mess, Nathan sprang up out of bed and looked around. His bed was empty. Panic consumed every orb of his body. He flew down the hallway and then down the stairs. About halfway down, he began to slow down as he saw the soft glow from the television in the otherwise dark living room. Relief washed over him when he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Haley sitting on the couch feeding Faith.<p>

They shared a smile as Nathan joined her. "Why are you here?" He asked her.

Haley gave him a puzzled look.

"I got scared when I saw you were gone," Nathan explained.

"Scared?"

"I had a really bad dream….maybe a couple of bad ones. I don't know. It was really confusing. It was your dream, then mine,…I still don't get it."

"Well, Faith was fussy and wide awake and so was I, and it looked like you were out cold so, I decided to come down here. We've been watching reruns of the Golden Girls."

"A classic. I think I need some of that. I could use a little levity after those dreams."

"Here," Haley handed off Faith to Nathan so he could burp her. She watched him closely. He looked all worked up. She smoothed down the stray pieces of his hair from his sleep. "You never have bad dreams," she noted.

"I know. Maybe that's why I'm so thrown off." After Faith let out a soft burp, he held her up and examined her. He gave her a few kisses on both sides of her cheek and then nestled her up against his chest.

Haley eyes glistened as she watched this exchange. She could honestly just watch Nathan interact with his children all day. It was one of her greatest joys.

Nathan and Haley sat together and watched the television. By the time the show was over, Faith was asleep on Nathan's chest. Haley shut off the television and Nathan gently repositioned his daughter so her head was resting on his shoulder as he stood up. They both headed up the stairs, with Nathan in the front. Haley wasn't surprised when Nathan wandered into Lydia's room. She followed him in and they stood at the foot of her bed watching her.

"She's growing up so fast," Haley whispered.

"Tell me about it. Don't forget—she's doesn't get to leave the house until she's thirty! Or did we say forty?"

"Ha, ha. You'll have to take that up with her. I didn't agree to anything."

"Well, this one," Nathan patted Faith, "is our baby. She'll never leave us, right? Isn't that right?"

"Nathan, I hate to break it to you, but I was the baby of my family…"

"Yeah, and how I convinced you to marry me at sixteen, I'll never know." Nathan headed out of Lydia's room and headed towards Jamie's.

"I must have been crazy!" Haley laughed from his side.

Nathan stopped and turned around and looked at her with wide-eyes. "Don't say that, Hales. You weren't crazy. We were just young and in love—"

"I was kidding," she assured him. "I don't regret it for one second. Everything we've gone through brought us here."

"Here is where I want to be."

"Well, that's where we are!" Haley said happily. She pushed past him and went into Jamie's room. She leaned in his crib and readjusted his covers. "And here's my little man. You better not go off and leave us too soon either."

"He's a Momma's Boy. You've got nothing to worry about."

Haley gave Nathan a squeeze on his arm and then headed back to their bedroom. She got into bed and watched as Nathan laid Faith in her bassinet. He joined her in bed and sighed heavily. Knowing he was still uneasy, she drifted towards him and rested her head on his chest. She put her hand on his heart.

"You're heart's beating so fast."

"Those dreams…they felt so real."

"What were they about?"

"We were both at St. Mary's. I'm not sure if we were both crazy or not or if one of us was there for the other—you know how dreams are. It kind of reminded me of _The Notebook_."

"You hated that movie!" Haley reminded him.

"Whatever. I think I'm scarred from all the times you made me watch it."

"You are a closet Notebook fan! You even bought me the book when I was at St. Mary's."

"Because it's one of your favorites…Anyway, I can't remember all of the dream exactly. It was kind of like flashes…But we knew about our kids, but we didn't have them. I couldn't tell if they were real or not. But you know what the one thing that I know was real?"

"What?"

"We were in love; like completely in love."

Haley's brown eyes peered up at him. "Like we are right now?"

"Mmm hmm." Nathan kissed her head. "Just like now."

"My heart is so full—" All of a sudden, Faith began to cry. "Well, that ought to convince you this is real," Haley laughed.

Haley sat up and hesitated before getting Faith. Nathan looked as white as a ghost. "You okay?"

Nathan sat up. "Yeah, yeah. I just had déjà vu. Let me get her. She doesn't need to be fed, right? She probably just needs a diaper change."

"Are you sure?" Haley asked.

"Yup." He picked up Faith and took her directly across the hall to her room. A few minutes later, he returned, but instead of putting Faith back in her basinet, he took her into bed.

Haley watched as Nathan laid Faith on his chest, just as he used to do with her and Jamie. Just like Jamie was with her, Faith settled in on his chest and after a few minutes was sound asleep. Wanting to be as close to them as possible, Haley carefully slid over and nestled herself on a spare spot on Nathan's chest, right next to her daughter. "Is this okay?" She whispered as quietly as possible.

"It's more than okay. This is everything, Hales, and I just want this feeling to last forever."

"That's our love, Nathan, and it will last; _always and forever_." They sealed their union with a lingering kiss and then laid awake a while, fight off sleep. Neither wanted to surrender to their dreams, because to them, their reality was far better more beautiful than anything they could dream about.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks so much for your support of this story! I hope you liked it. As for the little twist, it was inspired by episode 3 x 07.<p> 


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